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    PIXIE-LICIOUS   128,533
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Healthy Self Esteem

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Monday, February 25, 2013



Today is day 6 of my current streak! (Previous streaks; 290 days, 13 days and 53 days.)

As of today, there are 22 days until Spring! I have set a goal for myself, to be able to fit into a certain t shirt by the first day of Spring. I have hung the shirt on the outside of the closet door, so that I can see it every day. I tried the shirt on this morning, and its still too tight, especially in the arms. (My upper arms are my "trouble zone.") Anyway, I'm not so sure that this shirt will fit me by the first day of Spring, but I'm not worried about it. If it fits, thats great! If not, I'll just extend the deadline!



On Sunday, I had plans to meet my oldest son for breakfast. He wanted to go to Denny's but they were way too busy so we ended up going to Old Country Buffet instead. I actually prefer buffets, because I can scope out the food and then choose what I want. When we got there, they were still serving breakfast, but just starting to put out some of the lunch offerings. So I ended up having salad and fruit!

You know, there was a time when I would always try to hide myself when going out in public. I would not wear any makeup or jewelry. I'd put my hair in a ponytail and then slap on a baseball cap to hide under. And unless it was 90 degrees outside, I would wear a jacket to "disguise" my weight! Here's a picture of me and a few of my Sparkfriends from the Rootin' for Ruby team, when we met a few years ago. I wasn't even at my highest weight, but there I am hiding under a baseball cap and wearing a jacket even though it wasn't chilly out!



Well, I never go out in public looking like that anymore! Now I always take the time to fix my hair and put on a little makeup. No more baseball caps, and no more jackets unless its cold! I don't feel like hiding anymore. When I go out in public, I feel so much better about myself. I know I'm no raving beauty, but I can still face the world with a smile and some good grooming. I have learned to love myself enough to take care of my health, and now I also love myself enough to take care of my appearance.

And people respond to me differently! I find that people actually LOOK at me now, not past me. Cashiers at the grocery store actually speak to me. Wherever I go, people talk to me. I feel like I'm part of the world, and not invisible anymore. Its scary in some ways, but its also very cool. These people aren't speaking to me just because I have lost weight and started wearing makeup. They are talking to me because I look approachable now. I have a healthy sense of self esteem, and it shows.




I used to think that people ignored me because I was obese. But now I realize that it was more than that. I used to cover myself up and keep my head down, and I didn't smile. I looked unapproachable. But now I hold my head up, I smile, and I look friendly.




I'm not at my goal weight yet. I still have a long way to go until I get there. But I'm not waiting until then to start loving myself and living my life. My life is right NOW, and I want to enjoy it. I hope you are doing your best to enjoy your life too...and to love yourself. You are so beautiful, no matter what your size! Face the world with a smile, and don't ever hide yourself away just because you are not a size 2.




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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATNCAG 12/2/2013 2:55PM

    Another great inspirational blog! emoticon Pixie! Have a great week & I hope u enjoyed Thanksgiving with your family!
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SUPERSYLPH 7/26/2013 2:43PM

    Thank you for sharing! I love your blogs!

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WHITEANGEL4 5/22/2013 11:34AM

    Great blog. thanks for sharing

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ELAINE725 4/8/2013 5:00PM

    Thank you for sharing. emoticon

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MORTONDH 3/16/2013 2:21PM

  Beautiful blog. Brought tears to my eyes. Hurray for us all.

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MONTREAL12 3/10/2013 6:26PM

  I've always heard that you are what you eat; however, now you've convinced me that you are what you think! emoticon

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ONEATATIME3 3/10/2013 5:59PM

  emoticon very Inspiring!! thanks for sharing. emoticon

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SUNGIRL822 3/4/2013 11:10AM

  Your posts inspire me, keep them coming :) emoticon

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EFFRAYECHILDE 3/4/2013 9:36AM

    emoticon

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CORNERKICK 3/3/2013 11:08PM

  Love it

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LWOLFINGER62 3/2/2013 2:09PM

    What an awesome post. I love your attitude! i've been a SparkPeople member for a few years now, but was NOT taking it seriously. Then this past New Year I decided it was REALLY time to get moving - and I've lost 17 pounds since then!

I didn't think I was a "hider" as you described - but I have noticed that as I feel successful and smile at others, more people in my world have been talking to me also! It's amazing. Thank you for sharing!

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SPATALIAN 3/2/2013 10:38AM

    Thanks for the upbeat attitude, we always need more people like you! Keep going you are an amazing person!

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LISA_FRAME 3/1/2013 7:43PM

  Thanks for sharing

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RISAMEANSLAUGH 3/1/2013 7:39PM

    Dear Pixie,

You have a great attitude and your positive attitude is contagious! I was feeling kinda down and worn out by my work (teaching) and this article perked me right up!

Thank you so much and have a great evening. All the best!
sincerely,
Riisa emoticon

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JIGGILY 3/1/2013 4:10PM

    Love your blog Pixie, so many of us relate to this and it really touched me. Thank you for sharing, you are an awesome Spark Friend.
So glad you love you because we all do xoxox
Big Hugs
Dee
xoxoxox

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KARRENLYNN 3/1/2013 2:48PM

    Thanks for sharing today. I was kind of surprised by this post. I always hide from attention and sad to say I think I'm really pretty good at it. I never thought about that making me unapproachable though. I do many of the things you did with clothes and makeup etc. You gave me something to think about, thank you.

Have a great weekend Pixie!

Karen emoticon

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DJSQUISHIE 3/1/2013 2:31PM

    Great post, I really loved reading it!

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SMARTCOOKIE2007 3/1/2013 10:55AM

    Inspirational emoticon

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JULBEL 3/1/2013 10:31AM

    Fantastic what an achievement. Be proud and keep going

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NEPTUNE1939 3/1/2013 10:09AM

    emoticon

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TWILAQ1 3/1/2013 9:29AM

    Well said!

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SAKS20111 3/1/2013 12:52AM

    rite on!

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JERICHO1991 2/28/2013 10:29PM

    Love the sign on the scale, and the motivational visuals.

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DOROTHYAKERMAN 2/28/2013 8:42PM

    Great blog. You are beautiful inside and out. emoticon

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AMBER461 2/28/2013 8:21PM

  Thanks for a great blog. You are an inspiration to a lot of us. Keep up the good work.

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SWIMLOVER 2/28/2013 7:00PM

  emoticon emoticon

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JANETTEB553 2/28/2013 5:20PM

    emoticon

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DARIA1981 2/28/2013 11:41AM

    What a great blog! reading your words of wisdom, makes me think that I too, can live a more healthy lifestyle! emoticon

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SGBLOUNT 2/28/2013 10:43AM

  You have encouraged me....keep blogging emoticon

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KLONG8 2/28/2013 10:38AM

    My hiding technique is a black t-shirt and, you guessed it, a baseball cap. I can totally relate. Great blog.

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P_CASSI 2/28/2013 10:29AM

  You're totally right, I used to do the exact same thing. I was really overweight and had lost all my self-esteem and self-confidence. I kept my head down everywhere I went, I would wear baggy sweaters in the summer to hide my figure and avoid people as much as possible. I went into some of the worst episodes of depression I had ever been in. It took loosing the first bit of weight for me to realize how badly it was all impacting me, and to realize it didn't have to be that way. Things really started changing when I finally realized I was doing the things I was doing and looking the way I was because I didn't feel I deserved any better. Once I decided I did, everything started changing around for the better, in all aspects of my life. I know I still don't look great, but I walk out looking and feeling proud of what I am, knowing I'm working hard to be better. Thanks for the post! It was a nice reminder of how far I've come as well and how much further I could still go. emoticon

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CLAYARTIST 2/28/2013 9:46AM

  emoticon mm emoticon emoticon

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SPUD3193 2/28/2013 8:50AM

    emoticon

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AMANDACOETZER 2/28/2013 8:39AM

    emoticon

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WALLINMW 2/28/2013 8:34AM

  You got this!

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BLUENOSE63 2/28/2013 8:24AM

  PIxie

Great blog....you are so rockin that new haircut! Let your light shine, let it shine

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CHERYLHURT 2/28/2013 8:17AM

  Great blog!

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MYJUNIEMOON 2/28/2013 7:16AM

    You are always so motivational ~ I love your blogs!!!
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CNGMYBX 2/28/2013 7:16AM

  Wow, You gave me such a boost this morning. I think we are all hiding something behind all of this padding. A part of "coming out" is loving ourselves. You put it perfectly!

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LAURANCE 2/28/2013 7:07AM

  Good for you! Self-esteem is so valuable.
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SHERYLP461 2/28/2013 6:27AM

    Love your story, congratulations

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SHARIKAYE 2/28/2013 1:19AM

    Wow Pixie!! I have to go back and read this again!! This was exactly what i needed! I always wondered why people I went to school with never seemed to remember who I was. I remembered who they were. It stands to reason now, that I made myself forgettable. I shied away from anything that would draw attention to myself. I made an effort to try to be invisible. Funny, because I was a different person around my church youth group. I felt like they accepted me for who I was, and I felt more open to be myself. I took leadership roles and enjoyed myself. As an adult I went back to trying to be invisible. I was in a marriage for 27 years that made me feel ike my weight made me "less than". Thank God I had three wonderful children that made those years worthwhile.
Now that I am on the path to health and wellness I have thought about putting on make-up. I feel like this old barn could use a little paint and I want to look my best. At the same time I'm afraid people will make a big deal out of why all of a sudden I am putting make-up on. My daughter sells Premier Jewelry and I have quite a bit and it's been just sitting around. I have started to put some on and it feels good.
Your blog has totally inspired me!! Thank you so much for sharing. Maybe next time we take a family picture I won't hide in the back.

Blessings,

Shari

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FAT2GAINHEALTH 2/28/2013 12:58AM

    IF YOU ARE OPEN TO THE UNIVERSE, THE UNIVERSE IS OPEN TO YOU!!!!!
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SASSYTHING52 2/28/2013 12:09AM

    love reading ur blogs emoticon

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SHOAPIE 2/27/2013 11:58PM

    Great

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CM_GARDNER78 2/27/2013 11:30PM

    Ooooh - that is awesome!!! You are so inspiring and encouraging!!! This is a fantastic blog - thank you!!!

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4KWALK 2/27/2013 9:30PM

    Wow. You are amazing. You have lost weight but also really learned a lot about yourself. You are definitely a winner.
Thanks for this great blog.

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ANYVAR54 2/27/2013 9:10PM

    Congratulations on your weight loss. You are doing great!!!!

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LINDA! 2/27/2013 8:35PM

    emoticon Great blog. Congrats on your success and new way of thinking.

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MADZI88 2/27/2013 8:32PM

    This is a wonderful attitude that you've got. I love your goal and think I'll do the very same thing. I have a shirt I was going to return but now, since I really DO like it, I'm going to put it up where I can see it each day and every week, try it on and see my progress. Thanks for the inspiration and keep up the GREAT work!

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