Monday, February 25, 2013
Well, my MIL is now permanently at the nursing home as a paid patient. It won't take long to go through her money that she has left and then we have to apply for medicaid. It is scary to think of the costs involved. She is not eating well and has lost 20 lbs in the last couple of months. Yesterday, we had a luncheon at our church and we managed to get her out to go to it. All of her friends came up to speak to her so it was a good outing. I'm sure she was exhausted when we took her back to the home. She asked us how long she was going to be there and we tried to skirt the issue saying it was up to the doctor. I know one thing, there is no way I could handle taking care of her without giving up every other activity I had, including those of my husbands.
On the way home from church she asked if we had seen her mother. Apparently all her relatives are visiting her quite often, preparing the way I guess. She keeps asking us to help her get on the plane and we keep thinking she is delusionary. But after yesterday, I'm thinking maybe she thinks she needs to get on the plane to depart this earth and we should buy into that. She also wants to make sure we take all of her clothing and other things away with us when she leaves. We've been thinking she means when she leaves and comes home with us but now I'm thinking maybe she is talking about leaving this earth. Hard to know.
My MIL has been seeing angels for many years. Someone commented to us that she might be a medium. We've always avoided talking to her about the angels because to her they are real and it gets scary sometimes. Her husband (deceased since 1997) has never left her side even though he has another girlfriend at times. And now, her mother, father and brother are hovering around quite a bit. I'm starting to believe she really does have a connection to the other world. There is one snag, a bad doctor with a hypodermic that comes after her and is preventing her from being at peace. He has been after her (spiritually) for years and we even had to take her to a psych doctor for hallucinations. But if she is a medium, to her it is real and all these years she has been labeled crazy needing meds. Now, when she brings up the subject we try to encourage her that "they" are getting ready for her and that the bad one should go away and leave her alone.
Last night I had a vivid dream that she had died. AS she loses weight, she gets weaker and soon will be nothing but bones. Her ankles, which have been balloon size due to retention of fluid, are now so thin, I am able to get my fingers around them. So we continue. I so wish for her to be at peace, to stop the good fight, to finish the race, until we meet again.