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    BEEJAY49   195,088
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The truth is..

Monday, February 25, 2013

Sometimes I get down too, just like anyone else and this is one of those days.
Today is my favorite Uncle's birthday and he has been gone for a while now.
Yesterday I had my dad in the ER because of severe back pain. It was arthritis and also a fairly new compression fracture which I have no idea how he got.

There are days I feel so very alone and this is one of them. I know I have all of you, I have my wonderful husband who would and does do anything for me, gosh he cleaned the house for me yesterday while I was at the hospital with dad, what more could a woman want, yet I still feel alone.

I know I need to take care of me, but this isn't the day..either. All I get finished doing is for everyone else and no one but my husband does for me. Yes, this is an "all about me" day and I HATE it!

There are more days than not that I love to have silliness in my blogs, but, you guessed it, this isn't one of them. I don't feel like I have anything to be funny about this morning. I'm sad, depressed, angry and have a who the heck cares attitude this morning. I know I'll get over it, I always do, but for now I just want to wallow in my misery.

I have friends who have had great losses recently and my heart hurts for them.
I have friends who have so many more problems than I do and I want so badly to fix it for them and I can't. I know I'm being unrealistic, but I want to fix life for everyone and dam it, I can't.

So here I am, feeling sorry for myself because I don't have a life and I can't fix things for everyone else, and if you're reading this, I'm sorry, because when I get down like this, you are the one who suffers through it listening to me whine.

Love you all! HUGS!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1STARVINGARTIST 2/26/2013 1:11PM

    Sorry that you are having a hard time and a sad day. Everyone deserves a time to feel down under difficult and sad circumstances; we all have these feelings. You are blessed to have such a supportive husband. Thanks for sharing, and I hope you are feeling better soon.
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CHESSIEKITTY 2/26/2013 7:21AM

    You are always so faithful in responding to my blogs, yet I rarely reciprocate. And while I read a lot of blogs, I stay in the shadows. But, here I am FOR YOU! Of course you can have a day to be down, to have a "why me" day, to want someone just to say, "I care about you."

Well, I care about you. I'm so sorry that you have had these experiences. Yes, it is so difficult when it's a family member, especially a parent. Your worry factor simply increases to an almost infinite level. I understand wanting to be able to fix everyone and everything. . .but we can't. It's not something we can do. What we can do is take care of ourselves to the best of our ability, help those when we can, and pray for those when we can not do anything else. So I said a prayer for you today.

Vent away! Those who read what each of us has to say, cares...or they wouldn't keep coming back to see what we have to say (even if I stay in the shadow). I hope you have a better day today or at least some of your stress has eased. Know that you are appreciated and many care for you! emoticon emoticon

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PEPPYPATTI 2/25/2013 5:50PM

    Susi, there is nothing wrong with venting. You have a lot to contend with & it is bound to get to you sometimes. I admire your strength & your courage but on days where you do not have it, my shoulder is here for you, just as I know you would be for me! And sometimes it takes more strength to admit that you do get down & depressed, rather than hide it. Love & Hugs!
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LEHIA13 2/25/2013 3:28PM

    There is nothing wrong with venting out your frustrations and depressions. It's a road that leads to healing.

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TKLBRIDGET 2/25/2013 2:18PM

    emoticon emoticon
To better days.
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MELLIESUE13 2/25/2013 7:13AM

    Taking care of someone is very hard work. It's perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed at times. I too am a "fixer". I am always there to try to fix everything for everyone I love. But, sometimes we just have to accept that we can't fix everything. It sometimes is a lot bigger than us.
At first I took the blame for my failed marriage because I was unable to fix it. I also had to face that I could not fix how this effected my children. And on top of all of that I could not "fix" my mom when she was diagnosed with cancer.
It almost drove me crazy trying to accept all of that. But, I put my faith in God and I accepted after much prayer, that I was the only thing I could "fix". So that's where I am now. I am on my way to fixing me (with God's help).
My mother used to say, its not a sin to get down, its a sin to stay down. I know all of what I said is just words...but just know that we are all here to support and encourage you. Even if we just listen. Hang in there. emoticon

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