Not Ready for Goodbye
Monday, February 25, 2013
I know it's 12:10 in the morning and that I should probably be asleep right now, but how can I knowing that the love of my life, my very heart, is being deployed to a country on the other side of the world!?! I can't help but think of all I'll miss: the hugs, the laughs, the kisses, the annoying little things he does... How do I sleep knowing he will be out there, working for the sake of our country, and me being here worried about his very safety!?! I know where he is going is not a terrible area to be in, but when there's not a 100% guarantee of anything... it gets me incredibly nervous. Really all I want to do right now is take a day tomorrow, and grab a giant tub of triple fudge brownie ice cream, a couple Coca-Colas, and have a giant cry fest. But I can't do that. 1. Because that is obviously very bad for me and 2. because I need to work and go to class so I can pay bills and graduate. Right now I'm finding myself having to be strong... when I just don't feel like being strong. I'm going to miss him like crazy. But at least I get to look forward to that day when we join our lives together, in the presence of God and witnesses, for the rest of our lives. It's all I really have to hold onto right now, because the rest of me is falling apart! I knew what I signed on for when I said yes... I just forgot how hard it was really going to be!
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God" ~2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (ESV)