Sunday, February 24, 2013
To start, it's all about the food and I had a date. That date was February 16, 2013. Then it was the 18th, 19th, 20th, and 21st. The 22nd was a Friday so I wasn't even going to think about recommitting that day.
It was today. It was right. There was no judging when I looked in the mirror during Zumba this morning, it was more an impartial appraisal. I knew that today my body was not moving like it should even with the weight gain being small, my stamina was lower, my knees were more sore, I was less energetic. But I knew that I had the choice to feel better, and it was an easy one today. Maybe it's all about recommitting each day or multiple times through a day, just to get to the next one.
What ever "It" is, I know its going to be a battle most days for a while, during a time when a lot of other events, conversations, and work are feeling like daily fights. When you yearn was something simple and enjoyable, adding one more challenge usually feels like the last straw. Today went well, but I know that it won't last and somehow I need to get ready for the battle days.
I know that I did it before, but, the trouble is, I'm not sure how. And now I have the added frustration and anger of knowing that I am trying to lose weight that I have put back on. I was working against myself.
These are the fears and what I am expecting ... if there are any ideas out there that have worked for you, please let me know. I have been trying to get back on to the healthy eating part over and over since the end of last summer and it has been like throwing myself at a brick wall when I know there is a ladder around someplace. I want it, but can't see it, and I'm starting to think a dozen doughnuts and giving up is the better option.