Feeling more at peace with everything
Saturday, February 23, 2013
In the words of Doris Day, "Que sera sera, whatever will be will be, the future's not ours to see, que sera sera."
I'm not completely out of danger of being evicted yet but the manager that's been giving me so much grief is no longer working here as of the 28th. So I figure either picking on me is no longer a priority and I'm safe, or he's going to get that last shot in on his way out the door and I'll have to move next week. I don't care why he's leaving. In fact, I hope his dream job was offered to him and he can move up in the world! The thing that matters to me is he's getting out of my life! Cya, buddy!
But if I am evicted, sure that'll bite pretty hard, but it won't be the end of the world. Truth is, I didn't intend to stay in this apartment this long anyway. I got complacent. I had intended for this to be temporary while I look for a place I like better but I didn't look.
So this man, as big a jerk as he is, was able to convince my teenager to clean his damn room (something I've failed at for many years now!) and remind me that I have overstayed my plans here.
Now I move on from this incident. I continue on with my life. I stop waiting. It has taken me too long to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. It has taken me too long to be responsible for my own financial stability and health and happiness and look where this has gotten me? I am working on a plan for my independence now. I will have an income as soon as I get a few technical issues worked out. I have to get out of my own way and give myself permission to succeed. Every time I give myself permission to take a risk, it works out. Going back to college was a risk but I got my B.S. Leaving my husband was a huge risk but now I'm happy. Even changing how I eat and starting to exercise was a risk but I've lost over 50lbs and am less than 30lbs to my goal weight. Now it's time for one more gigantic leap of faith. It's time for me to be financially independent. I can not work for someone else. I have a disabled child who needs me to be available and I have 2 damaged arms that I have to work with.
I also have what I need to get started with an embroidery business. I have a small sewing/embroidery machine that I can do some small jobs with but, more importantly, I have a contact with the high-end equipment! I can farm out large orders as well as things my machine can't handle (hats, large patterns on backs of shirts/jackets, etc) until I can get the larger machine!
I am really scared that I'm going to put myself out there and fail and let any clients I have down, as well as myself and my family. But I'm even more scared that I'm going to blow this chance and still have to have my parents pay my bills in another year.
Right here and right now, I commit to doing this! But I need business cards and, for that, I need a business name. It should use the word "embroidery" so people know what I do. Any suggestions?
I WILL DO THIS! I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL! I WILL NOT LET MY FEAR OF EITHER FAILURE OR SUCCESS HOLD ME BACK ANYMORE!