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Mini goal met - now what?

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Today I got to 150 pounds, just 10 pounds away from what I chose as a tentative goal some 15 months ago. It's exciting, of course, but I find I'm also more than a little bit unsettled. Too many times, I've lost a significant amount of weight; but I've never maintained within 2 pounds of that weight for even 6 months. Probably 2-3 months was pretty typical. I know I will need to join the groups for transitioning to goal and maintenance, but I'm really concerned about doing it too soon - or too late.

I never had a weight problem until I was 18. Yup, college, but not the typical freshman 15. I'd graduated from high school at 117 pounds. That's not even on my radar, of course. But I got salmonella food poisoning quite early in my freshman year, and I was very ill. I lost weight, 10 pounds in eight days. Unbelievably, I had a terrible time regaining that weight; it took some 8-9 months.

Then I was pregnant during my sophomore year. Boy, did I gain then! And then I lost that baby, and that's when the emotional eating began. I weighed some 140 pounds, and gained about 45 during pregnancy with Tobias. Then I joined WW between the boys and reached my goal of 120. Guess what? I quickly gained back to around 135 and held that until I was carrying David. I "only" gained 40 pounds with David, but there I was - back to 175.

I went back to WW, since I had achieved lifetime membership. I think I "tried" WW tow or three times 1976-80 but hardly got back to 140. Then I discovered NutriSystem and got to 128 toward the end of nursing school. Again, I gained right back to that 140-150 range. So I went back to WW at least 3 more times, unsuccessfully until 1994. At that point I had 130 as my original goal but changed my mind when I got to 135. And that's where I did the best on maintenance, making it almost six months before hitting 140 again.

Then I kept gaining, and I hit my highest weight of 196 in 1997. That was a wake-up call, because I was simply NOT going to allow myself to hit 200. And I didn't; managed to stay 185-190.

In 2002, I found another new weight loss program, Prism. Again, I got down to about 140 but didn't maintain.

So with that kind of yo-yo history, I feel like I'll NEVER figure out my "happy weight." Note, of course, that I'm talking about feelings here, not thoughts or plans. I know I'll figure it out somehow, some way. But right now, I'm struggling with "magical thinking." I want some kind of blueprint, a map, a plan! I want to KNOW when to think in term of transitioning. Yes, it's unrealistic, but it's what I WANT!

That said, I plan to hang in there for the duration. I don't know when or how I'll be able to set what I hope is a permanent goal weight. But I've come this far, and I'm not giving up or turning back!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v GONNABSKNE0124
    Way to go!! Keep up the great work!!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1239 days ago
  • v RSSSLHB
    emoticon job keep going don't emoticon emoticon
    1247 days ago
  • v COOP9002
    Good for you! Sounds like you're on course to get to where you want to be.
    1249 days ago
  • v AWESOMECHELZ
    SparkPeople has teams and articles for maintenance. You will do GREAT! emoticon And why? Because you have gone this far, more than most people have. emoticon Chelsea
    1250 days ago
  • v BECCAZEN7
    here is a great blog post that deals with this exact subject! If the link doesn't work just copy it and paste it in your browser window.
    http://www.sparkpeople.c
    om/mypage_public_journal_indivi
    dual.asp?blog_id=4332094
    Good job on all the hard work! Especially since you have done it more than once.
    Becca
    Missourians Team
    1250 days ago
  • v LESLIE_2B_LESS
    You are doing so great and don't get scared about maintaining - you are in a different period now than before! Just keep on sparking & staying grounded.
    1251 days ago
  • v FREELADY
    It is not too early to join the Transition to Maintenance team! I have several spark friends there, and they are a great bunch....intelligent, compassionate, humorous! (I am not on the team but I have had a lot of interaction with several)

    The whole name of the team is "At Goal & Maintaining AND Transition to Maintenance." Copy & paste this link if ou want to read some of their blogs.

    http://www.sparkpeopl
    e.com/myspark/groups_individual
    .asp?gid=1111

    If you would like a couple of personal introductions, let me know. I know they will welcome you warmly.

    You are in such a good place; relax and trust yourself. You have learned and grown so much; you don't need to go back.

    Keep making good choices just one more day. I am cheering for you!
    1251 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/23/2013 8:22:34 PM
  • v OAKBORN
    Hey Pam! Good for you meeting your mni-goal! emoticon

    You can always create another goal if you feel you need to drop a few more lbs or just work on maintaining for right now. Maybe treading water for awhile is what you need since you've been on the rollercoaster nearly every other time you have hit goal. emoticon

    Best of luck for the now and the later! We should have lunch again soon!! emoticon


    1251 days ago
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