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    ROSE-GARDEN   5,282
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Crashing

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Well, I didn't want to admit to this but I'm trying to be accountable.

I've been secretly binging pretty badly lately - all sugar and junk of course. I don't want my son to see (or my husband for that matter), so as soon as I'm alone I'm stuffing my face. I had bought some muffins for my son - at least that's what I told myself at the time. Now I don't want to remind anyone that we have any because then they'll know how many I've eaten.

I'd been doing so well, then the big snow storms set in and triggered a massive fibro flair. My muscles feel like they're burning me alive from the inside out. I won't even go into the muscle cramping and nerve pain. I'm right back in the no win cycle of shoveling in the comfort junk trying get that distraction from how I feel. But, of course, it doesn't actually help calm the problem down. I think eating healthy would help over time, but I can't seem to make it long enough to really notice a difference. I'm getting pretty down right now.

Sorry for the vent. Hope everyone is safe and warm.
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TIME2BLOOM4ME 2/25/2013 9:13PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ROSE-GARDEN 2/25/2013 12:00PM

    Thank you all for such encouragement! Reading your posts have upped my mood and I'm feeling so much better.

I'm also feeling more determined to have good tasting healthier snacks around instead of the junk. More snow is moving in, so I'll be trying to focus on those hot bathes and hot pads instead of food for distraction.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KYLIESCHELLE 2/25/2013 1:09AM

    Maybe you should try baby steps. Start slowly and get a streak going. If you get off track just correct yourself and get back on track again. There's no sense in beating yourself up because you can't change the past. Try to do one small thing today to get you started off properly and be proud of yourself for getting you one step closer to your goals. Hugs, Michelle

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HEIDISHOPE 2/24/2013 5:36PM

    (((((gentle hugs))))) and shared tears, my friend. BT (sometimes still) Doing T

Confession is good for the soul so I'm in a strange way...excited for you......because you are being totally honest with yourself here.

Those who don't have fibro have no idea what it feels like to have the flu 24/7/365, which is what fibro can feel like.

Next time, substitute one comfort food for a warm bubble bath or something that WILL make your muscles feel better. Something that will give you some power. And victory. And no feeling of defeat.

Blessings, my friend emoticon

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GAYLLYNNE 2/24/2013 8:17AM

    Don't beat yourself up!! We all struggle with periods of binging and sometimes it gets the best of us. It's getting back on track that's the hard part because it takes time. We get lost, go down and the hard part is picking ourselves back up. You have a trigger and you should try and figure out what it is. You might be surprised!! When you binge try and write down your feelings and what happened just before you started to eat. Good luck, I'm rooting for you!!

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ROSE-GARDEN 2/23/2013 8:46PM

    Hi - My husband tries to be supportive. He hugs me and says he wants me to be healthy so we can have many more years together. Which makes me want to cry right now. I don't want to fail, and I don't want to disappoint either.

He's never struggled with weight and I am embarrassed by my struggles. So I tend to want to hide it. (NOT healthy, I know) I don't feel like he can understand why it's so hard for me since he's never had this kind of problem. Heck, I don't know why I can't just do it! I know what I need to do, so why do I keep giving in and eating this junk?

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ALIDOSHA 2/23/2013 5:54PM

    Do not despair. Try again and again. Couldn't you share the problem with your husband (so he might help in one way or another) instead of hiding?

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