A review of the past 11 weeks… I am down 9 ½ lbs since Dec 8th 2012. Considering that I have been playing with these same lbs for the past couple of years, I am finally done with them forever. I got rid of them slowly with an average of ½ to 1 lb per week… would like to have gotten rid of more, but apparently my body doesn’t want to let go of the weight as fast as I think it should.
I tracked just about everything I ate and my work outs along with challenges in my WW journal over the past 11 weeks and I just took some time to review the notes I made. It is very apparent that lack of sleep wreaks havoc on my program, along with lousy weather… several times that I slid towards the “foody dark side” were related to this. The foody dark side for me is comfort foods… one time it was eating a whole bag of microwave buttery popcorn, another day was eating the chocolates brought in to work from other co-workers. Another fall back for me is ordering pizza when I am tired.
I also realized that on these days of sliding, I would write down what I was eating for the most part, but lots of the “bites/ licks/ tastes” were not recorded.
This past week, however, has definitely been the hardest week yet for staying on my program. I hit a mental wall… hard… and got really frustrated with having to work so hard for this whole weight loss thing. I have really been thinking about how similar this is to an alcoholic, drug addict or smoker... a total appreciation for addiction.... I am totally addicted to the lazy side of me who just wants to eat whatever I want and to lay around and be lazy.
This is the first week where I gained weight since starting. I gained 1.4 lbs, I was seriously annoyed by this especially since I have stayed focused and have been following the program. I did lose 1.4 last week, so I guess I leveled out over these 2 weeks... but this was still seriously annoying to me which added to my down mood. I am down 5 lbs over the past 4 weeks, so again, I know this is my body doing what it does, but it makes it so hard to stay motivated.
One of my very good Spark Friends helped me tremendously by helping me to remember that “frustration is a good thing for us to feel - it shows that we are changing and that those changes are changing the way we make our decisions. That is great thing!” and pointed out for me that I could either “give up AGAIN or hold on to this frustration and turn it into resolve to do better.”
On my thoughts of this weight loss journey being like an addiction, this same friend made me smile when she agreed by saying “this journey very much compares to that of an addict because we are, - sometimes I think it's even harder for us because we can't go cold turkey like alcoholics, smokers and drug abusers can - we have to eat! So for us it isn't just going without food- it's going WITH better foods. It's like trying to get an alcoholic to have just one "light" beer a day or a smoker to have just one cigarette. Most addicts don't have that kind of discipline. So I say "kudos to us"! We do the hardest kind of change and no, we won't be perfect but we will make it and we will do better every day.”
On an earlier blog I wrote about restarting everyday at “12”… and today is my brand new day!
So thanks to all of you, my Sparks Family, I’m off to do a 3 hr ZUMBAthon for a Leukemia fundraiser in memory of my nephew. Hopefully this will completely get my head 100% back into this game.