Saturday, February 23, 2013
My first week on Weight Watchers I didn't follow at all and ended up with a good-sized gain. I had a hard fight with depression (which I mostly lost) and I actually felt a bit panicky.
So I started tracking this morning. Because I'm starting from such a high weight, I get 57 Points a day. You'd be amazed how much food that is! And I also get 49 extra Points per week that I can use or not. I've got my phone, with WW Mobile, and the Points guide next to my chair so I can track everything. When I posted my weight gain I immediately got a message of encouragement, which I really needed. I probably seem a little dorky, but right now I don't care. If I don't do this, I probably won't live more than a few more years.
This morning's breakfast was a big, steaming bowl of Irish oatmeal with a little maple syrup and milk. (This is probably going to sound corny, but whenever I eat something like that I feel the connection to my Irish ancestors so deeply, it just warms my heart. Yes, I'm a sap.) And I can still have half and half in my coffee! Two tablespoons is only one Point. That's one thing I am NOT giving up.
I bought a lot of healthy groceries this week (I was out of just about everything). A big change for me is that I didn't buy any alcohol. In my family growing up the adults drank all night. Nobody thought anything about it, it was just what adults DID. The last few years I fell into the same pattern, so it feels like I'm breaking a hard-and-fast rule by not drinking. My father ridiculed me for years because I once threw a party where I didn't serve any alcohol. I told him that thalf the guests were teenagers and half belonged to a religion that forbids drinking. He sneered and said, "Which are you?" I almost snapped back that I'm a better hostess than to serve myself something my guests can't have, but you didn't talk like that to him unless you wanted to pick yourself back up two states away.
I did make one silly mistake shopping. I've recently become a Greek yogurt fanatic. Chobani makes some great flavors that don't have too many Points. I bought multiples of some of my favorites, expecting standard yogurt cups. Imagine my surprise -- they were four-packs of minis! So now I have enough of them for a month, but they're only 100 calories each, so I suspect they may not make the month. Well, a flavor like coffee with dark chocolate chips for only 100 calories sounds like a cravings-buster to me.
For the first few weeks I'm using things like Lean Cuisine for work lunches and very simple dinners like baked chicken with veggies. I'm trying to make it difficult to fail, because right now I feel like I'm on a high wire and about to lose my balance -- which I really don't want to do. As I get more into it, the cooking is going to come back. I've got to believe that it's possible to succeed on Weight Watchers while still doing the beautiful cooking I'm so passionate about.
I'm measuring and weighing everything. My ex once said that if you weigh and measure the food then the food is in charge of you, not the other way around. I believed that for a long time, but I feel differently now. I get the image of having your dog on a leash. Even the best-trained, most obedient dog in the world still needs to be walked on a leash. It's just prudent for both of you.
I turn sixty next week. I just hope I haven't waited too long.