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    ASHMOMOF4   18,176
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Guilt

Saturday, February 23, 2013

So, I feel I did really well eating this week. I didn't get as much exercise as I wanted to because of the weather and the kids' schedules, but I did manage to burn my goal Monday through Thursday. Friday is where I felt the guilt. I did great all day and then at the end of the day, my dinner was fine but I decided to have a little sweet- yogurt covered pretzels. I start thinking, "How am going to track 4 pretzels? Where is the nutritional info on this container? Should I just guess? Gosh, those are so good! I'm just going to have- what I think- is a full serving. Oh well, going over my calories by a couple hundred for one day is fine. Should I just make this a 'free meal' and have whatever I want? What else do we have around here that I've been depriving myself of? I might as well have a glass of wine too." Then, I find some Hershey Kisses and a small York and have those too. Then it is getting late and the whirlwind in my head is making me crazy. I'm also thinking "You better track everything you are eating to the best of your ability! What have you done? You are throwing off your deficit for the day- and now the week! You might as well forget the whole weekend and eat whatever and start over Monday. You blew it! What should I make for breakfast? Carbs! Carbs! Carbs! Make something really good since you've been depriving yourself."
I eventually drifted off to sleep and woke up this morning wondering if I should make the good (carb loaded breakfast) or maybe I'll correct the damage done last night by eating very little today. No, first I'm going to track everything I ate last night and see just how bad the damage was. It turns out that it wasn't that bad. I'm sitting here at 10:00a.m. Saturday morning and have only had a cup of coffee. Putting all of these words down have made me feel so much better. I was always so afraid of putting my thoughts out there for fear of embarrassment. Well, I know that I'm not the only one who goes through this so I'm using this as my "therapy."
Thank you all for "listening." I feel better now and I'm going to eat a healthy breakfast and take it one meal at a time. I'm hungry!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LZY0108 2/26/2013 1:33PM

    Been there!! I so know how that is.
I was in that same turmoil last week. It comes out of nowhere. It's crazy how one little decision can be a snowball effect. Its different for everyone of course... That's why I refuse to have even 1 cookie. I can NEVER have one. Some people say they can do it, not me. Atleast not right now... I choose something else I know wont trigger my "beast".. LOL Hot cocoa is my go-to sweet treat. It takes me awhile to make with the kettle, and its too hot for me to drink too fast. So by the time Im done with it my craving is usually sated...

Thank you for sharing!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 2/23/2013 12:59PM

    I've gone through this MANY times, so don't feel you're alone. I've played out the exact same scenario and had the exact same conversation with myself. A great sp friend of mine told me to track all of it, and like you, found it wasn't nearly as bad as I had thought. Most of the time, it never is. I have no doubt you'll get back to it. *hugs*

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JILLITA55 2/23/2013 11:14AM

    dont worry about that. you r doing fine

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