Saturday, February 23, 2013
I just read this article: http://www.sparkpeople.com/res
I think I am letting myself get stressed out by weight loss. I worry a ton about whether or not I get the right amount of calories per day, and when I slip up I tend to get mad at myself, so I end up eating or drinking more than I was before, and then when I get home I end up just watching TV and sleeping on the couch, so in the morning I'm mad at myself again for all that. Each day I wake up like that I feel like I have to start all over again, or that anything positive things I did that week were wiped out by the binge night. It's exhausting to constantly be mad at myself!
One day this week (Thursday?) I ate super healthy and within my calories. I went to the gym straight after the morning shift at work and did both strength training and cardio. We had an early dismissal at school, so I had to work two hours earlier than normal. The snow storm started while I was there, and right after the last kid left we were all dismissed to avoid the worst part of the snow. I came home, Mom and I had some lasagna (even within my calories for the day!), and I relaxed for a while. She made some brownies, and I had one serving (it seriously was a delicious day, and I was so happy to satisfy my sugar craving while staying within calories). Normally it's hard for me to say no to more, but I just left the kitchen/dining room. I'm reading Jack Kerouac's On The Road (It's about time. I can't believe I never read this in high school), and since it was so cold and snowy I decided to take a hot bath. Oh My Gosh, it was wonderful. I think it was around 8:30 and I was falling asleep, so I decided to just continue and go to bed straight after my bath. I woke up the next day feeling amazing.
I need to remember nights like that when I'm mad at myself. It feels much better to take care of and pamper myself, and I need to do it more often!