An Empty Mind......
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Ritu (in Blue) with our sister-in-law Ashwini in Kolhapur,April 2012
The present situation that I'm in has made me terribly restless----it is the uncertainty of the result that is making me dance like a Cat on a hot Tin roof!!Making the rounds of Hospitals--however well appointed---is not something that anyone looks forward to---and apart from my regular Check-Ups I try to give these a very,very wide berth!!Ritu is 7 years younger than me and at age 52 years one would have thought she knew better how to look after herself!!She had a Hysterectomy in which they removed her entire Reproductive system---after which she stayed with us while she underwent her Chemotherapy and Radiation.Mummy was still alive then and pretty sick herself---but then she had the satisfaction of knowing that everything was under control before she passed away in January 2010.
After everything came back to normal I kept tabs on Ritu to see that she followed up her Check-Ups regularly--till October 2011--when Sudhir passed away.After that I was so absorbed in my own misery--and trying to come to terms with the sudden Vacuum in my Life--that somehow I wasn't able to look beyond my own needs.It never struck me that despite holding an extremely responsible job in a Multi National Company where she interacts with all the Top Brass she'd be stupid enough to let her Health issues slide---enough to cause grave concerns about a relapse of the earlier Ailment.I am now literally keeping myself busy whenever we're at home--for she's staying with me now--and spend my time Meditating--a necessity that helps keep me sane and on an even keel.The Stress is what is making me restless---and I'm only praying for a light malady curable by Chemotherapy and Radiation at the utmost!!All I will say is that God is Great--and since He has been there for me always I am convinced that this time to He will grant me the strength to cope!!