Friday, February 22, 2013
A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. "My life is a mess," he says. "My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a Schnauzer, and I'm as jittery as a cat." "Why don't you go see a psychiatrist?", suggested the collie. "I can't," says the poodle. "I'm not allowed on the couch."
A man while walking in a graveyard hears the Third Symphony being played backwards. When it's over, the Second Symphony starts playing, also backwards, and then the First. "What's going on?", he asks a cemetery worker. "It's Beethoven," says the worker. "He's decomposing."
A member of Congress is walking down the streets of Washington late in the night. He is surrounded by muggers and is asked to give all his money. The Congress member says, "I am one of the members of Congress". The muggers say, "Sorry boss!".