Friday, February 22, 2013
It's time for me to face some facts.
Fact #1: From March 1,2012 to September 1, 2012 (6 months) I lost the last 10 pounds to finally make it to my goal weight after trying for 2 1/2 years.
Fact #2: From September 1, 2012 to now (6 months) I have gained that entire 10 pounds back.
Fact #3: I weigh at least as much now as I did March 1, 2012, one year ago.
Here's where I'd like to blame something or someone for the fact that I have undone all my hard work and effort. I'd like to say it was stress, hormones, perimenopause, my thyroid, my family, global warming, a space alien with a penchant for Oreos taking over my body....
But truthfully, those 10 pounds can't be blamed on any of those things. Quite simply, I have been eating too much, eating the wrong things, and slacking just a little on my exercise. Not a lot, but enough to make a difference. I've been spending less time on Spark and less time thinking about my health.
Maintenance is hard. Everyone says it's harder than weight loss, and they are right. It's all of the deprivation and tracking and willpower and effort with none of the perks of people noticing or new clothing sizes or watching the scale needle move lower. But what makes me mad at myself is that I KNEW that. I knew that it was incredibly hard to lose those last ten pounds. I knew I couldn't start eating a lot more or skipping workouts. I knew I should continue to be involved with the Spark community. I knew all that, but I chose to ignore it.
Here's some more brutal honesty. I still don't have the binging completely under control. One day this week I ate an entire bag of Chex Mix, and in two days, pretty much all of a 2-pound bag of Peanut M&Ms, with more stuff besides. When I was having those days of just plain not caring, I could see how easy it would be to just let myself go. It wouldn't be hard at all for me to gain back every pound I've lost in the past three years.
For some reason I can still fit into my smaller clothes, and that's helping me because I didn't keep any of the bigger ones. I'm still not at the point of no return. I'm where I was a year ago, and a year ago I lost the last ten pounds. I can do it again.