Trying to get started...
Friday, February 22, 2013
SO very much going on in my head that it’s hard to sort out what is taking up most of my thought processes. I should likely divide it up into different posts. The crux of this for me is the same as I suppose it is for so many people. It’s not the rational brain that is causing me issue. I am well aware of what needs to be done and even how to do it. In fact I’ve already done it commendably well more than once. No, the issue is my subconscious… the dark, sticky places that want to stay hidden and away from analysis and self-awareness so that they may continue to thrive and thereby deter me from my goals. They show me what I’m giving up and overshadow what I’ll be gaining. Do I want a glazed doughnut MORE than I want to visit the Taj Majal? Of course not, but the immediacy of the gratification is often a winning factor.
What I am finding will work better is to focus on more immediate goals. Things that are higher impact in a smaller time frame. Yes, I get the warm glow of satisfaction that comes from NOT giving in, but I need TANGIBLE evidence, like my knees hurting less so I can get around better, or diminished lower back pain so I don’t have to think about how to best bend at the waist to unplug my laptop. These are the things that I know will help me. So why am I trying to climb the whole mountain in one step? Because I feel like I should be able to do so. It’s rather silly and counter-intuitive when I see it written out, and yet my inner warrior still wants to storm the walls and take no prisoners. It is in moments of reflection like this one that I need to remind myself of some very good advice I got several years ago. “Patience. Persistence. Perspective.” It’s a good mantra, and one I need to remember every day.