Such a dissappointment
Friday, February 22, 2013
Well, I knew I wasn't going to meet my weekly goal, but I really need to sit down and think of why.
It was the Valentines Candy.
It was the Thin Mint Cookies.
It was the mindless shoveling of snacks into my mouth after dinner while watching tv or trying to work from home.
No, those are just actions. What was the purpose of doing all that snacking? I know. It was because I felt helpless at my revamped calorie range I did last week. After spending 6 days in a row of eating within my range, and doing well, I revamped my range to my current weight.
And it seemed impossible to make it. 1,220 - 1,570 is such a small number! When I started Sparkpeople, my range was 1500-1700 a day, not the reverse.
Some days I barely made it under 1650. Now I'm supposed to hit below 1570?! That really dropped my mood towards food in general. Every day was a wash. I'm not going to make it in my goal range anyway, so why not eat the rest of that sleeve of thin mints? Bah, I'm already over my range and it's not even dinner time. Let's go out.
I still have doubts I can stay in my range and not be starving. I know I only have 30 lbs to go until my goal. I've already dropped the first 30, but making it past the 0 numbered weight is always so HARD!
I got to 250 no problem. Had trouble getting below. I hit 240 ok once I broke through the 0 boundary, but had a hard time getting below that. Now I'm at the 230 wall and my brain seems to think I'll be here forever. It's starting to say "You're ok at 230. You've done great!"
Yeah, 30 lbs IS something to be proud of, but I have bigger dreams than that. Time to minimize my chocolate intake. Make up for the cravings with something else in addition to the regular serving of candy. I know I can't eliminate chocolate. My brain won't allow that. But I might be able to bribe it with something else after consumption of 1 serving. Maybe carrots. Or mushrooms. Or cheerios. I don't know. Just not more chocolate.