Friday, February 22, 2013
First I must provide a little background…..
There was a television show named Cheers that lasted 11 years from 1982 to 1993 and the majority of the show took place in a Boston Bar named Cheers. There was a overweight, out of shape, quick-witted, always making funny comments character named Norm Peterson that frequented Cheers daily. Whenever Norm entered Cheers everyone would yell out “Norm”.
Norm would respond to the greeting with a wave of his hand and a funny comment such as:
“I am so happy this holiday season is over with. The whining, the crying, the screaming, the temper tantrums … OK, I wasn’t your traditional Santa Claus.”
The reason I told you the information above is that I have evolved into my gym’s Norm. There are areas and training classes at the gym that I will enter and will be greeted a loud “Marty”. I then respond to all with something off the cuff. Last evening I said, “Who says nothing is impossible? I’ve been doing nothing for years and this is the result!” as I grabbed my belly.
With about half of the gym training class instructors, I have developed a give and take relationship. We will have a running commentary exchange during the training class that all others are always welcome to join in. For example earlier this week in Spinning Class, the instructor asked, “How’s it hanging Marty?”
“Over both sides and the back of this cycle seat. These seats are too small for my big butt!”
I do not practice insult humor or attack anyone with my attempts at humor. As I have written previously, I practice self-depreciating humor or observational humor.
Unless the USA Federal Government makes some budget changes starting March 1, the Defense budget will be automatically reduced and employees will be laid-off or their work week (and pay) will be reduced. The name they have for this is sequestered. The Federal Government can avert the automatic cuts, if it compromises on a deficit-reduction plan before the March 1 deadline.
I shared the paragraph above because some of my current favorite attempted observational humor revolves around:
If the Federal Government doesn’t get this budget mess resolved, I say we allow every elected Federal Government member to become a private citizen again during their next re-election attempt.
Not everyone likes to be lighthearted at the gym, so if the class instructor does not start an exchange with the attendees, I do not since I am a participant and not the instructor.
Sometimes some of the other gym class attendees practice insult humor and attack others in the class. If they attack me or someone I like with insult humor, well they are fair game and I have no problem returning the attack.
Once and only once in my years of gym membership and aborted attempts at weight loss and getting in shape has someone actually wanted to get physical with me. His problem was that he wanted to match his insult wit against my wits. The singular “wit” will never top the plural “wits” and after a few rounds, the one wit wonder resorted to cursing and was dismissed from the class.
Of course he waited for me after class and mentioned getting physical.
I explained to him that he should consider that there were many witnesses in the class to what had occurred and there were witnesses now listening to him physically threaten me and how I was advising him that if he got physical, I would have him arrested, sue him, make his life a legal mess and he may lose his job since he would be convicted of physical violence. I suggested that he apologize to me or I would ask a few of the witnesses to our conversation to accompany me to gym’s front desk to file a complaint with the manager and have his membership revoked.
He stared at me while I smiled at him and after a few seconds, sincerely apologized and I accepted the apology.
I do not make this stuff up. It really happened!
So, I enjoy being the Norm Peterson of my gym and over the next few months will become the thinner Norm Peterson!