The SparkCoach assignment today is to take your big goals and break them down to smaller, more quickly achievable goals. I've been very clear that achieving and maintaining my weight at 126 is a big goal for me, even though this morning I weighed 127.6, only 1.6 from my target weight. Doesn't seem like I have much to do, but believe me, I do. I learned in 2012 when I had my goal weight range set to 124-130, that if I stopped trying to lose weight every time I hit 129, I never got under 129 and often went up to 132. If I want to weigh 126 I'm going to have to work for it. If you've read this far, give yourself credit for reading a whole blog. But I want to ramble on and on today ---- indulge me!!

Is it the right weight for me? I think it is the weight I like best. Whether other people can see a difference between 126 and 132 or not, I can. I know it is an achievable weight for me, because I was there in 2011. Is it maintainable? I think the only way to know is to give it a good try.

Reality is that the bigger goal is health and fitness and living at a weight of 126 is really an intermediate goal. Gaining muscle and losing body fat is a good goal, too, but I want to achieve the living at 126 before the body composition becomes my priority. In order to address the fat loss/muscle build I'm going to have to find a place that can measure body composition accurately, because my scale and the YMCA have such imprecise measurements to be useless. I really don't want to drive to Tampa or Orlando to do Bod Pod and don't know anyplace here to get what I want. In the meantime I'm going to keep running and keep strength training and I may not achieve optimal muscle building nor optimal running performance, but each will contribute to my health and fitness.

Focusing on my 126 goal, there are many, many small goals to get there. Drinking water, getting enough sleep, choosing healthy foods, tracking my food, trying new healthy recipes, continuing to Spark daily, burning at least 2200 calories through exercise per week, and attend Weight Watchers at least monthly. All of these things I'm doing pretty well, but some could do even better. One more glass of plain water per day, for example, would be good. Continuing my low intense sweets streak is definitely in my best interest and may continue to help reduce my sweet cravings. Continuing to track my streak of days eating within the calorie range as a way to overcome the vestiges of my binge eating compulsion is a positive step. Emphasizing eating with dignity is the way to go! I could weigh 126 and binge twice a month and still feel really bad about my eating and myself. Eating with dignity 100% of the time is my goal. For March I'm going to get better stickers for my calendar and make the sticking to calorie range and low sweet intake streaks more prominent!! So as far as the assignment goes, that works.

I'm also working on giving up the emotion attached to weighing, putting the emphasis on healthy lifestyle behaviors. I continue to release the anger I feel toward my mother for raising me so fat, being a terrible eating role model, teaching me to want the ultimate taste rather than good health, and just feeding me badly. I can't help but feel badly that I unnecessarily suffered from obesity and being overweight for more than 50 years. From time to time I wonder what my life would have been like had I been a normal weight as a child and teen and young adult. But I recognize the amazing way my body has healed from that experience and I feel gratitude! And most of the time these days I am just bursting with energy and joy! Releasing the negative and embracing the positive ---- Yeah, that's the way to go.

Enough rambling for today!! If you've made it this far, count yourself a special, special SparkFriend!! Have a great day, my friend!