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The Big 2-Oh (day 53)

Friday, February 22, 2013

So I finally hit the big 20lbs-lost mark today. I am now back to being the heaviest I ever was 3 years ago, which is a super depressing way to look at it. So i'm not looking at it that way. I'm looking at it like I just lost 20lbs in 8 weeks. Good for me! I did a little dance in the bathroom this morning when I got off the scale. I was so relieved because I worked so hard this week. And especially after yesterday's visit to Lane Bryant to try and find jeans (Which was particularly depressing), I was proud of myself. I also lost 2 inches from my thighs and an inch from my arms. Nothing on my waist yet, but I fear my original measurement was off...either way...Good stuff all around.

I must confess, I worked so hard before the baby was born to get back down to a size 16 that now that I've gained all this weight, I was refusing to buy any new pants because I had all these barely used size 16s at home. So I've been wearing my maternity (or eternity according to my husband) pants and jeans until I could get back into my 16s. Well, its so sad, but I've actually worn my maternity jeans into holes in the thighs. So depressing. So it looks like I need to buy at least one pair of jeans that will fit me for now. I saw Lane Bryant had a sale going on where you try on a pair of pants and get $20 off just for trying them on. So I thought, ok, I'll give it a shot. So I tried on 6 or 7 different cuts and sizes and found that in their jeans I am inbetween an 18 & a 20. And they don't carry talls in the store I went to, so even if I'd found a good pair I was happy with, it didn't matter they still all looked like High-waters. Just staring at my gut in the dressing room mirror for the mere ten minutes I was in there was enough to take my pleasant mood into a nose dive of self hatred. Why did I let myself get this way? How could I possibly ever feel good about my shape? Etc, etc...Blech.
But I tried to let that motivate me even more and I guess it didn't hurt because I worked my butt off at kickboxing last night and managed to lose 2 1/2lbs putting me at the 20lb mark. So yey for that. I think the best solution for all of this is to just put mirrors on every possible surface of my house and walk around naked so I can't escape my frightening image.
Yeah, probably not...but we'll see. Only 52 more Pounds to go and 140 days to do it...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1821 days ago
    I think its important to have a few nice things that fit well even if you are only planning to be at that size temporarily. Check about having things altered to your new smaller size as well. Its cheaper than buying new and will allow you to admire your new body.
    1821 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.