This sums up how I am feeling today.
This week is just exhausting me physically and emotionally. Last night I was able to shed tears and talk through things with our bible study leader and that's a blessing because it was much needed. She understands what I'm going through firsthand as she still deals with a grown son in her home with autistic issues and has a daughter that should have had counseling sooner in life to help her. It just drained me though and I came home and got my tracking done and then just chose the sofa to watch our tape of Survivor after talking through what had happened at Maegann's counseling appointment with the hubby.
Maegann's counseling.... Was a good session with Isaac's counselor and by the end of the session we had her lined up to meet with a Music Therapist instead. The good news is she can go weekly which will speed up the process for her. The bad news is she will go weekly. LOL (I now only have one bi-weekly appointment and three weekly.)
This morning I slept in again and actually knew I would when I went to bed last night. I'm just not in a good place right now and know I have to pull myself out of this pit. Isaac managed to get through his math paper while I made veggie soup for the crockpot and then we were heading out the door for the homeschool skate day. I didn't want to go, but the kids really did so I knew we must go. I read the whole time. Reading a book written by a hospice nurse who is telling story after story about watching God meet these people and usher them home with Him. After skating we stopped at the library (across the street) and then went across town to get some medicine for the hubby. We then headed to the next town to meet the hubby for lunch. Finally home about 1:45 which meant we were gone 4 hours. Isaac and I left for his group therapy about 2:50 and got home around 5. I then slept for 30 minutes before I could even think about finishing up supper.
Tonight I forced myself to get the finances caught up, did some research on the sensory equipment so I can get voided receipts and submit the paperwork to actually purchase these items for Isaac and then got busy sparking. I was able to Spark some while waiting at therapy.
Tomorrow "should" be better, but the day will begin with taking the kids to Build-a-Bear as Maegann wants to spend her birthday money there. Tim is meeting us there as he wants to see what it is all about too. With any luck his project at work in the afternoon will go quickly and he can be home in time to take Isaac to his counseling appointment that begins at 3. I really hope so as I need to be at the church building about 4:45 to have the building open and begin setting up for Presenation Night. Won't be home until about 9.
Presentation Night offered some of its own little stress yesterday as I received a call stating we couldn't use the sanctuary as they had already begun unbolting the pews. (New ones are being installed next week.) Means we have to be in the gym with horrible acoustics and without a full complement of wireless mics for the drama class. It will all work out and I'm chalking it up to our continued bumpy ride this year. The evil one is working overtime with us this year, but so far he has not succeeded!
Gym time... haven't been since Wednesday, Feb. 13. I won't go tomorrow either, but will go on Saturday before heading to pick up my veggies. I'm just going to give myself the opportunity to have a week off while I pull myself out of this dark place.
Had our final weigh-in today for the BL Winter Challenge and I was not surprised, but not happy either with my 2# gain. I know it is a combination of the eating out, emotional/stress and also TOM due to arrive anytime. I'm just sure that will happen tomorrow right in time for Presentation Night. It's just the way the week has been going. Anyway, the gain was disappointing as it pretty much means I am right back where I started 10 weeks ago. Good thing I can pull it together before the Spring Challenge officially begins! I also joined a 5% challenge team (they put me on the Daisies) and the first weigh-in for that 8 week challenge is Saturday, but I'll use my Thursday weigh-in's so I'm not trying to remember two days to log that info.
Sorry this is such a downer blog, but I needed to get it out and just accept the reality of where I am today. The devotion for today (it's below) was also perfect timing.
WEIGHING & MEASURING CHALLENGE - DAY 20
I have not even paid attention to this and we've still been eating out some. Today was absolutely emotional eating at its best, but I did track every bite. It's not pretty. I will get this whipped into shape quickly.
God selected (deliberately chose) what in the world is foolish to put the wise to shame, and what the world calls weak to put the strong to shame. And God also selected (deliberately chose) what in the world is lowborn and insignificant and branded and treated with contempt, even the things that are nothing, that He might depose and bring to nothing the things that are, so that no mortal man should [have pretense for glorying and] boast in the presence of God. (1 Corinthians 1:27-29)
Trust in Him. God sees your weaknesses as His opportunity, because when you lean on Him in weakness, He shows His strength through you. Trust Him to do great and mighty things through your weakness.