Thursday, February 21, 2013
Ok, so I don't know whats up lately...
I've been waking up in the morning having breakfast, and as soon as I eat, I feel like I absolutely MUST sleep. So I fall asleep on the couch for an hour and when I wake up I have these uncontrollable urges for chocolate! I usually then eat a Fibre1 Peanut Butter Chocolate bar and then fend off the cravings for the rest of the day, but today it seems to have gotten worse. I had 2 bars and still feel like I need chocolate :(
Now, I know I don't get enough sleep, but that is nothing new for me. When I first had my twins I averaged about 4h sleep a night and was on zombie mode for over a year. Now I get between 6-8 hours in between the twins wake me up. However, when they do wake me up, I can't bring myself to get out of bed, so they turn the TV on and watch cartoons for about an hour before they get hungry and then harass me til Im up.
I then get them some breakfast, take my thyroid pill, wait 30 min, take my Wellbutrin for my depression and my Champix for quitting smoking and then make myself some breakfast. Its usually something light, like 1/2 cup cereal with some milk and half a banana, so I can't really say that I feel sleepy cuz I am too full. Within 5-10 min after that I feel like if I don't lie down I'm going to fall asleep in the chair, so I go over to the couch. The worst part is that I am at home alone with the twins so I really NEED to be awake. While I am passed out they come and lie down on me. One lies on my back while the other lies on my legs. I must really NEED to sleep if I can do so with 80lbs on top of me! Its very uncomfortable but I can't get myself up, and at least I know the twins are ok since they are on top of me!
After about an hour I manage to get up but then the evil chocolate cravings kick in. Its like Im an addict searching for crack cocaine! I just gotta have it! I don't want to ruin my diet so I don't keep actual chocolate in the house, and its very unlikely that I will get the twins dressed and into the van to go buy some. Usually I just eat a fibre1 bar and I can contain it somewhat for the rest of the day. But it just seems to be getting worse every day. Today I had two fibre1 bars and its still not gone! Usually after lunch things get a bit better but I end up feeling sluggish for the rest of the day and not getting much done around the house.
Late at night, when everyone is asleep, I finally get some alone time to do my workouts. I choose to stay up late because its the only time I have to myself. Its my "ME" time. I know thats not so great, but its kinda hard to focus on working out with two 3y olds in your feet. Not to mention that its not very safe, I've tried it and they constantly are tripping me! But at least I seem to have a bit more energy at that time and I am able to get myself up and do a 40min workout at least.
I don't know what to do about this. Not really because its affecting my diet, since I am always on the lower side of my calorie range anyway, so I am still losing, but because I can't be falling asleep while the kids are up and I can't get anything done while feeling so sluggish all day. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks for reading!