Thursday, February 21, 2013
I am tired of being overweight. I am tired of feeling poorly about myself. I am tired of having zero willpower and self-control. I am at my wits end.
I have PMS this week, when this happens I lose all control. I have to eat every piece of chocolate, cookie, cake, and other sweet thing that I can get my hands on. I donít know how to stop. When I am done eating these things I feel so horrible about myself I just want to curl up and cry.
Once upon a time I lost almost a hundred pounds, but now I have gained almost everything back. A lot of my clothes donít fit, my knees hurt, and I just feel down on myself. I bought a new pair of jeans over the weekend without trying them on, and when I went to put them on this morningÖ they didnít fit, too small. For some reason this was the last straw, the thing that made me realize that I need to stop now. I need to stop feeding every feeling, every bored moment, every craving.
I need to find my motivation, my self-control, and my self-esteem. I want to get healthy for myself, my family, and my future.