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    CC3833   14,355
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Day 64 (Rough patch... Not sure what to do...)


Thursday, February 21, 2013

I am having a bit of a rough patch. I have been feeling better for about 2 weeks now. I have less bills, and more time to do the things I need to do. I have more time then I have had in a long long time. But I haven't been doing jack. My boyfriend told me he is upset because I haven't been working out. At first this upset me. Like, you don't love me the way I am??? But I realized it was his way of letting me know I'm off track. He doesn't care but he know I care. He knows that I am unhappy with my body. I am also a lot nicer to him when I work out. I'm happier and not tired.... So what the heck is up? I know all the benefits and I know why I should do it but I don't. I just sit in bed. I don't go food shopping.

I have been giving in to all my cravings. Just eating til no end. Whatever whenever I want. I don't want to do this to myself and my body. My heartburn and IBS have been worse then they have been in a long long time. I know the food I should be eating. I spent money on that TapouT workout. I have no excuses... so why aren't I doing anything???

I haven't stepped on the scale since 2/6. And I am terrified. I don't want to step on that scale. I don't want to have gained back the 6 pounds I lost. I don't want to measure I want to be in denial. But its eating at me. I can't do this to myself. I know that putting these words in writing and then rereading this blog will help me push on. I just need a little help.
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AMYD726 2/21/2013 1:37PM

    Ditto what John said! We've all been there, don't beat yourself up.

The good news is you're aware that it happened, you took notice of how it made you feel, and you didn't like it. So now you can look at it as a minor setback and move on, knowing you'll be less likely to have the same slip-up again. emoticon

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BOOKAPHILE 2/21/2013 11:31AM

    If I don't track my intake and exercise, I gain weight/fat. It's taken me a couple of times losing and regaining the same 30 pounds to become convinced that those two things are crucial.

I don't want to have to keep going over the same ground. Each time I go through it, I have less muscle mass than previously. I weigh10 pounds less now than the time before last, but the clothes I am wearing are the same size. Fat takes up more space, so I've lost muscle. I'm working on that...

Weight loss and maintenance are HARD, but POSSIBLE! You CAN do this if you truly want to. Make small, short-term goals and move toward them till you reach them. Then make other goals. Don't forget to reward yourself (Non-food rewards, please!) for sustained effort and reaching goals.

You CAN do this! Best wishes on your journey!

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JOHNTJ1 2/21/2013 10:09AM

    If its any consolation you are not alone. I think most of us here at Spark have gone through those moments in our journey.

We are all full of enthusiasm, create a do-able plan and fail to realize that we've been living the same way for so very long that our mind and bodies resit the changes we put before them. The mind as one job - to create. so when we tell our bodies to act in a more healthy manner the mind creates all sorts of scenarios to impede our progress. We, in turn get anxious and depressed because we feel like its all about our lack of will and commitment and stupid stuff like that.

Believe it or not, this is a good thing that's happening to you. you've introduced change and your body and mind are revolting!!! "How dare you want to change!!!" they yell.

One of the Psalms says very wisely "Be still and know that I am am God." Winston Churchill may have said it more bluntly. "When you're going through hell, keep going!!!"

Take some time to reflect on what you've done and what you've accomplished. The secret is there is always more we can do. One day at a time.

Never, ever forget you are loved and that you deserve to be successful

Much Love

John

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