Thursday, February 21, 2013
So, I know I've said this before, but...
Have I told you this story already?
You may have already heard me tell it, but...
You know that feeling you get when you hear a story for the umpteenth time? It's boring. It's frustrating. You feel impatient. That's kind of how I feel about "my weight loss journey". I know I've said this before...and I know I've told you this story already...and you may have already heard me tell it, but...
I'm going to tell it one LAST time.
I've been a member of SP for several years. Oh, if I could only be the weight I was when I first joined SP! It's one of those things where you look back on that picture of you when you thought you were overweight and now that you really ARE overweight, you wish longingly for the good ol' days. When I joined SP, I was only trying to lose that mythical 5-10 pounds that women are always trying to lose. I actually didn't need to lose it - my BMI was healthy, my proportions were good...my eating habits could have used some improvement, but ultimately they were okay.
Fast forward several years...I am now trying to lose just about 100 pounds. I look at pictures and it's not just my poor body image telling me "you're fat!"...no, I actually AM overweight. My BMI labels me "Obese"...something I never thought would happen.
So what DID happen?? Complacency. Stress. Poor eating habits. The #9 sandwich at Jimmy John's Subs [many times over].
I watched the pounds creep on...I remember doing it. At the beginning, I'd get on the scale and I'd be a few pounds heavier...but no worries! I'd lost troublesome pounds like that before. I'd work on taking those pounds off...next week. THIS week, I was going to eat like I wanted, thank you. It wasn't until I got engaged to my husband that I was like, "ok, pounds - time to go away - I have to wear a wedding dress!". Only this time they didn't come off like they had in the past. Only this time there were MORE of them than there ever were before.
And now the stress comes into the picture. Sure, I've had stress in my life before. Who hasn't? But two weeks before my wedding, my husband found out he got a job 6 hours away in another state. TWO days after that, I found out I had also received a job in that state. So, we cleared out our savings account buying out the brand new lease we just took out on a town home, did some mad-dash apartment searching in our new town, signed a lease, got married, took our honeymoon, came home and frantically threw stuff in boxes, moved within that next week, and started our respective jobs that next weekend. It was like life was in warp speed.
Now, first some background - I come from a family were dinner was often baked chicken, a salad and some veggies. Sometimes we might have rice or a starch...if we had a starch during a meal it was only ONE starch. Now, my husband's family, on the other hand...they are from the Deep South...almost everything is full-fat, fried, veggies are cooked in bacon grease and oil and the more starches the merrier! Plus, growing up and in his early 20s, if my husband was hungry...there was always McDonalds, Jacks, Taco Bell, etc...."just go get you something if you're hungry."
So, when I started dating and eventually married my husband, it wasn't long before fast food became a regular staple in our lives. Now, I'm NOT saying that it's his fault...what food I put into my mouth is entirely MY choice. What happened was that I fell into the "convenience trap" and fast food became a twice or even three times a week thing. Sometimes even more than that. And of course you have to "make that a large" combo...
Well, as you can see...it has been a steady approach to where I am now. There have been other factors as well - stress at a job that was completely and totally not compatible with my personality, being in a new town where there is nothing much to do BUT there are plenty of restaurants....blah blah blah. But I feel as though this entry has been blathering on long enough.
To make a long story somewhat shorter - I have decided that this stops. Here. Now. I'm tired of feeling and looking the way I do. I'm tired of starting/stopping/starting/sto
pping the weight loss. I'm tired of feeling "tight"...I'm tired of not being able to get my wedding rings off or my other rings on. This is just getting ridiculous.
So, enough "ring around the rosie"...enough of the yo-yo dieting. I've lost weight before, I KNOW how to do it...it's just a matter of slapping my willpower around until it's back into shape.
I just have to DO it.
So I will. And I am. Here we go.