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Thursday / a reason


Thursday, February 21, 2013

So, I have been spending time with my fiance here in Portugal. I do miss home in a way, but Europe is very beautiful. I always see girls here in boots, makeup, skinny, pretty, hair perfectly fixed. I was at the mall yesterday with him, a typical day, looking for clothes to wear, and things to do. I was actually thinking of getting ice cream from this cute little place called olá. We go into one of my favorite clothing stores called Mango. It has decent prices, but lets be honest. The real reason I like this store, is because its one of the only places with clothes that will fit me... and fit it loosely used. I got tired of browsing through the shelves last night looking for clothes in my size, and having the buy the largest size in the store. As I walking around, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I stared at myself in horror. I could not believe how bad i looked, and felt about myself. I started to cry, and left the store.

When I woke up this morning, i felt discouraged. I just wanted change. So i came here, and started a workout. I have known about sparkpeople for years, and have never stayed motivated long enough to use it.

Ill also be honest again . (i mean whats the point of weight loss blogging, when you lie about what you have done ?) I ate a doughnut for breakfast, a biscuit, a cereal bar, and some crackers with cheese. ONE of these items would have been sufficient, not all! Look at what I am doing to myself! I feel super stressed about the way i am doing things, and I even feel like a spread my bad habits to my fiance. I need to change this..

I am tired of feeling :
overweight
ugly
sick
Scared
insecure
trapped
unlovable

When i did the boot camp workout day one video, i realized how dire the situation was . my heart was absolutely pounding halfway through the video.. and i dont mean like ... beating fast.. i mean POUNDING so hard i could hear it in my ears! It actually scared me a bit.. i mean come on! am i going to suffer a heart attack from a ten minute video!? how did i let myself get like this?

I need help. I need to push. Its time for a change.
for my health
for my fiance
before it is too late.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILSON1926 2/21/2013 6:01AM

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MICHAEL

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