wenesday review and jokes
Thursday, February 21, 2013
FEBRARY GOALS I decide I needed to revisit my February goals since I been in the dump lately
Here are my goals for feb
1 no chip, no m&m no peanut butter or a small amount in my my smothies or on my oatmeal less than a teaspoon, no more than 2 cracker at a time okay I have blown this a couple of time not must
2 it was suggest 1000 min of exercise for a month I am going for 1500 I think I will make this
3 somewhere between 10 and 14 glasses of water a day I am doing this
4 my prayers to God everyday I have not been doing this maybe that why I am in the dumper
5 I lost 6 pounds last month in a bad month so I can think I can do 6 again but would be happy with 5 well yesterday scale was bad but I am still doing okay for the month
6 I walk 45 miles last month what include walking video, outside walks, walking and running outside the house stair walking. And my be love treadmill this months I am going for 50 my walking have been less this month but I still have time to fix that
7 lose another inch in my stomach no idea
8 help put on a great ash Wednesday meal for church I did this
9 find three positives
things a day and post them somewhere I blew this maybe that why I am feeling bad
10 be a good team leader for the cats in the 5% challenge and a good friend to all my coach kryitie team I think I am doing this
11 listen to my coach and do her exercises doing her exrcises but honestly haven’t talk to her since Tuesday because I didn’t want to feel defeated when I talk TO HER SHE DON’T NEED to deal with a depress client/friend
1. complete my food and exercise diary on my fitness pal no I didn’t but only because I only ate once ay 6 m and have peNUT BUTTER AT 11 PM
2. balance my food and exercise diary on my fitness pal yes DID DO MY EXERCiSE LOG
3. Drink between 10-12 cups of water everyday yes 12-1
4. NO stress eating or binging no didn't do any 1 WASN;T Eating so no blinging
5. Trying to stay positive for a day 1 I try to stay no I was not positive I don’t even think I try to be positive I was in a bad mood all day some of my own making I THINK
b7. Do a morning cardio workout yes 1
8. Do a evening cardio workout or go to church yes workout 1 YES TREADMILL LASt NIGHT
9. Do something fun on Thursday evening
10. Lose at least 1 pound WELL I AM PISS TODAY MY SCALE Say I am up 4 pounds since sat.
11. Blog yes
Point for each goals 4 met so total of 23.5 i think next t week i am going to have loosen up on the reward
66 -55 Goals met-spend a hour of me time and don’t feel guilty
55-44 goals met-buy a new book
44-33goal met get to buy handful of dice on dice with buddy on iphone
I think not week I am changing my reward SYSTEM I think I am too hard on me
Heaven's Problem Now
Just as the graveside service had ended, there was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied by a distant lightning bolt and more rumbling thunder.
The little old widower looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the cowboy offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills of South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I then yelled, 'Now, back off, or I'll kick the carp out of all of you!'"
St. Peter was impressed. He leafed through the great book he held. "When did this happen?"
"Just a couple minutes ago. . . ."
Fish 'n' chips
It is February 22, the third Friday of Lent, and the faithful parishioner stumbles through pouring rain past hamburger huts and steak houses into the monastery at Mount Angel and requests shelter. He's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips he's ever had.
After dinner, he goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. He's met by two brothers, "Hello, I'm Brother Michael, and this is Brother Francis."
"I'm very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"
Brother Michael replies, "Well, I'm the fish friar."
The man turns to the other brother and says, "Then you must be . . ."
"Yes, I'm afraid I'm the chip monk."
Old Testament to New
A Jewish couple had a son who was . . . well . . . a holy terror. By the time for his bar mitzvah, he'd been kicked out of every school they put him in. Desperate, the parents went to the rabbi for advice. The good rabbi stroked his beard and meditated. Finally, he told them to enroll the boy in Catholic school.
The shocked parents did as their rabbi directed and took their son to the nuns at St. Jude’s and left him.
After school, the son came home and said, "Good afternoon, Papa. Good afternoon, Mama."
The young man went to the table and did on his homework. The parents looked at each other in amazement, afraid to speak. The mother wrung her hands and the father twisted his beard all the while their boy helped serve the evening meal, bowed his head for prayers of thanks, and even helped with the dishes.
No longer able to contain himself, the father asked, “We’re ever so grateful, my son, but what in Moses’s name did they do to you?”
"Papa, when you left, the nun took me from class to class all day, each time saying they knew how to deal with rowdy boys. Those Catholics mean business! They got some Jewish-looking guy nailed up on boards in every room!”
ps anyone want to I could use some prayer on my job. I think I need to LOOK for a new one the want to move us all back to noon what MEAN i WOULD ONLY BE GETTING 25 HOURS A WEEK CAN NOT LIVE ON THAT. SORRY FOR THE DOWNER