I have belonged to this site for a while, and never really had a desire to start blogging. But today, I decided to start. Probably because my students are taking a test right now, and I don't feel like grading the papers I should be grading.

Anyway, where to begin? My name is Tonya Paul, and I am a teacher in Cairo, Egypt. I have lived her for the past six years, and I am contemplating a move back to the states this summer with my Egyptian husband. I mention that he is Egyptian because that causes a great deal of complications in our lives. His Egyptian nationality causes him to make less money, to need a visa to any country we travel to, and to have to apply for a green card in order to be able to live with me in the US. It is one of the many frustrations in our lives.

A month ago, I hit the heaviest I have ever been. I was disgusted with myself when I stepped off the scale. Something had to change. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for the last four years. Nothing worked, not even IVF. I figured the only thing I could control was my weight, so I needed to do something to change it. Another frustration in my life.

My husband and I are working towards going to America, but it is not an easy path for him despite how long we have been married. I have no guarantee of getting a teaching job. We are going to have to live with my mother, and her many many many cats. We have to leave our own cats behind. We did not save nearly as much money as I wanted to save.

It is no wonder I eat for pleasure. My life is full of drama and stress. I need to learn better ways of dealing with the stress other than grabbing a snickers bar.