Wednesday, February 20, 2013
I have grown incredibly lazy. I don't mean physically -- setting aside last week's stomach bug, I have continued to exercise 5-6 days per week, getting 300+ minutes of exercise weekly. No, I mean mentally. I have become mentally lazy.
For a number of years now, I have repeated some clear truths to myself enough times that they began to morph and develop corollaries, which ultimately resulted in me convincing myself that my diet was more likely to be successful if I just ate whatever I wanted and wrote it all down. The thought processes that got me there are so strange that they don't warrant repeating, but suffice it to say that while it may be true that it is easier to keep weight off if one follows a plan to lose it that is sustainable in the long term and that having a small release valve (i.e. a cheat treat/meal/day) can be helpful and that no food should be off-limits, just portion-controlled, none of those facts creates a license to eat junk food willy-nilly. And that is, to an extent, what I have been doing. And I have to stop.
Someone posted in our BLC chat thread several weeks ago something about being at the mall and being hungry and using that as an excuse to eat the crap available at the food court when the reality is that we aren't going to starve if we skip the meal and wait and eat when we get home. There was a great and memorable line at the end that, of course, I cannot remember, but the gist was that no one *needs* an effing cinnabon (or at least that was what I took away from it -- sorry to the OP whose post I have bastardized horribly here). I read it and thought it was a great insight. And then I did nothing with it.
It is time to do something with it.
Yesterday, I thought to myself, "I am having PMS, and I am craving sweets. I should go get a treat." And then I reminded myself that no one needs a cinnabon (not what I would have gotten -- I don't work at the mall :) and held out until dinner, when I ate a healthy meal. (I then ate too many wheat thins, but an extra serving of wheat thins has to be better than a cookie, right?) Today, it's officially TTOTM, but I grabbed a greek yogurt instead of something more treat-like when the urge to snack hit. And I will survive the remaining 90 minutes until dinner (a crockpot chicken stroganoff recipe that we tried once before and didn't love -- I'm hoping it's better with a few tweaks), or I will eat the clementine on my desk.
I have got to put on my big girl panties and start acting like an adult. You know, those people who are capable of self-restraint and who know enough to make smart choices and not get led astray by their own inner children. Oh yeah, those people.