20,000-24,999 SparkPoints 20,244

Scale and other rants

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Oh my.........where to start. This weekend was fun, that is a good start. Too much fun! My boss had a birthday party for her daughter, 15th, which is a big deal for the Mexican culture. They are having an even bigger party for this birthday in a few months. I had fun, but there was food, that I was unable to resist, and lots of it, and alcohol,, so good, so bad. I really had a great time. But, with a little pre-thought, I could have avoided the 6(!!!) pound gain that met me come Monday morning! Wow, I didn't even know I could gain 6 pounds in two days. So, I am still doing my FFL eating plan, this week, and actually dropped 4 pounds in these last couple of days.....yes I weigh everyday. I know, I know, but I have to. I'm glad the whole 6 pounds didn't stick, but now I'm still 3 pounds away from being at pre-Christmas weight, and I really hoped I'd be below that after this week. Ahhhhhhh, eating, why must you be so addicting to me!!! So, I have hope that things will continue to move in the right direction, and I'm so thankful I have a plan to follow that I like, but of course, it never moves fast enough for me!

Exercise. Hmmmm, well after my 8 mile excursion on the 5th, and the soreness that came the week after, I have been quite lethargic. The weather has been chilly, wet and all around univiting for outside exercise. I MUST get myself back into the swing of daily fit mins ASAP. My eating "experiment" is still of high importance on my list of musts (must find and eat and stick to healthy meal plans), but I really need to not slack on my water and exercise.

I'm glad that I am not giving up on myself, but I really must admit, I am quite frustrated at how HARD it is to be fully committed to a truly healthy lifestyle the majority of my days. Some people it seems to come naturally to. And at one time in my life I was one of those people. But any change in weather, emotions, life just seems to send me carreening over the edge into unhealthy craving, eating, lethargy and overall depressing and energy zapping actions. It is a vicious spiral, and I see myself doing it, I just have not achieved the strength it takes to stop it. Atleast the 6 pound gain this weekend didn't turn into a 30 pound 3 month binger...........which has happened in my life, multiple times.

So, the goal is in mini goal right now is to see 240. I have been in the 250-260's for about 4 years now. If I can drop into the 240's, I will feel that I have finally made some changes that might just lead for real success. That is only 9 pounds. I know 9 pounds doesn't seem like that much, really, but it is the most stubborn 9 pounds!!!!

On the bright side. Tim got a job. He starts Tuesday. I'm a little scared that this one will keep him from home more than I like. But, in reality, it is really nice that we will be able to pay our bills and eat.............which are always nice things to do.

OMG!!!!! I took a lunch break from starting this blog unti now......and you would think spending time on here, thinking about my weight loss woes would have lead to a nice healthy lunch??? Think again. Well the lunch was healthy, tomatoe, avocado and sprouts sandwich on whole wheat. But the bread was so good I had a piece with butter.............then I saw my husband's stash of Samoa cookies, ate 4 of those then went to the Lemon Cooler and had two of those. Why? Do I have a weight loss disability? Is it all just low self control??? Yes, but why?? The mystery of all mysteries. Do I want to be fat? Is this why I sabotage myself on a weekly basis? I know what to do, I know how to do it, then BAM, I don't do it. I used to blame anything and everything, except myself, on my weight. I blamed my "slow metabolism", my name it. Then when I found SP I was hit face to face with the real problem, ME! Now, nearly a year and a half after finding SP, I am still battling myself, daily, with no lasting results, when I do put in the concentrated effort! Exhausting I tell you, completely exhausting. But I won't give up, ever! I can't, I will fight this beast till the day I die. I just can't begin to imagine accepting the situation without attempting to remedy it. But I must admit, banging my head against the wall, and not making any dents is getting really discouraging. Sheesh. Maybe dinner will be better???

OK, well, a little ranty, honest, and just how it is. I hope you are all having a good week, finding your spark any and every way you can. (LOL, re-reading this makes me laugh, and say "yes, I really am bi-polar" if I ever had any doubts!! Silly me!)
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow, Hippichick hit you with some tough love, and I agree with every thing she's said! AND I NEED TO HEAR IT TOO! I am in a self-sabotaging place right now and it's got to end.

    My fitness center is closed today (weather) so I'm going to stop wrassling with the thought of doing an exercise video, and just DO IT! So you'll have to excuse me....

    1824 days ago
    I truly believe that if we had nothing but healthy foods in the house to eat then that is what we would eat and not the cookies that you bought for your hubby or that your hubby bought for himself. Don't even go to that place where you call his taste for cookies into play. He will not benefit from store bought cookies either so stop buying them. If he wants them then tell him he can buy them himself.
    I have a friend who says that no matter what, she can't lose weight. I go to her house and I see treats and snacks on all the counter top space available. Jars of cookies, boxes of sugary cereal, gum, candies, potato chips...and I say to her, well, maybe you should join Spark and learn how to eat balanced meals to start off with. And then the excuses start. "I have dial-up, my computer's too slow, blah, blah, blah." And she feels that no matter what she tries it doesn't work. She got a dog about a year and a half ago so she would have to walk and play with it and that would help her burn a few more calories, but she hasn't lost any weight. To top it off she is battling a thyroid condition, high blood pressure and she had cancer a few years ago that thankfully hasn't returned, but still I see her eating things that she ought to avoid and her standard answer is: "I don't eat this way very often so when I go out I allow myself a little treat." The thing is that when we say that we often have forgotten the little treat we had earlier in the day or earlier in the week.
    I have to say that I was her more than 4 years ago. I thought that I would have to be in a gym 3 hours a day, working out hardcore to lose weight and keep it off. Turns out that I was WRONG! All I needed I to lose the weight that I have lost so far is right here on Spark. I don't need a gym, but I need to count calories and eat balanced meals and I think the Nutrition Tracker is the cat's pyjamas!
    I'm not saying that this woman I described in any way resembles you, I was just having my own little private rant about how we set ourselves up to fail.
    When I was watching "Hungry For Change" I heard a doctor say that our obesity is not our fault. We are programmed to eat a lot of fatty foods when they are available to eat. That is our caveman brain saying FEAST because there will be a famine. But in this day and age, we are living in a continual feast, so how do we turn off the part of our brain that says EAT ALL THE FATTY SUGARY FOODS YOU CAN BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T YOU WILL BE STARVING COME WINTER.
    I have a solution. Just don't buy it - the food or the excuses! LOL! If someone offers you a treat, read the ingredients on the label and that will likely convince you that it is really, really bad for you even if it tastes good. Do you REALLY want to eat Red Dye #3?? Or worse...something you can't pronounce and don't even have a grasp on what it is. Probably a preservative. And the FDA tells you it's safe. Hmmmmm... and who is paying the FDA to tell you this? The FDA is telling us that GMO foods are safe too. Independent studies on GMO foods are starting to pop up all over the world and the consensus among the people who have done the studies tell us GMO foods are indeed NOT safe to eat in the long run.
    Lots of things taste good. Like wine. Wine is yummy and makes you feel warm and cozy sometimes. What happens if you drink too much? You start to feel sick. Sometimes you get sick. This is because it's poisonous in large amounts. Have you ever read about college boys trying to get into prestigious frats who have died of alcohol poisoning? Have you ever heard about famous people dying the same way? I have. I think it's very sad that people don't understand that large amounts of anything will kill you either very slowly or rather quickly depending on the thing you are eating/drinking/smoking/doing.
    t's interesting to note that even if we hear about these awful things, we still take part in doing them (or eating it) sometimes because??? Maybe because there are other people who do it and that sort of gives us permission to do it too.
    When I read about this phenomenon of permission giving by our actions alone (for example you see someone eating pizza and they weigh 300 lbs. If they can eat pizza at their weight then it must be okay for you to do it too), I became very careful about what I was "saying" by how I acted or by what I chose to eat because I want to set a good example for my hubby and the little ones in my life who love me and think I am the cat's pyjamas! I paid close attention to what I knew was good for me to eat and tried very hard to ignore what others did/ate.
    None of this stuff is easy. We are bombarded by processed foods at every turn. Just a couple of weeks ago I went to a friend's birthday party and it was potluck. There was store bought pie. It was GROSS! I ate it anyway. That was DUMB. Maybe what we need to do is ask ourselves a few simple questions when approaching a buffet table.
    1.) Is this real food? (i.e. homemade as opposed to packaged.) If the answer is no, then skip it.
    2.) Is this food made the way I would make it? (i.e. is it made with whole grains, a lower amount of fat, organic ingredients when possible?) If the answer is no, then skip it.
    3.) Considering my activity level today and what I've already consumed, is the amount of food on my plate reasonable? (Ideally this question should be asked before you load your plate.)
    The lasting results you desire do only come with some work on your part. So get rid of those pesky pounds that were recently gained, you just have to get back on the fitness wagon, drink lots of water to flush out all the extra sodium (which was probably the reason there was a 6 pound gain), dust yourself off and move on because dwelling in the past isn't helpful. Living in the now is your happy place.
    P.S. Listen up California Girl! If I can go for a walk in -15 C in snow up to my shins then you can go for a walk in the damned rain. You just have to dress for it.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    1824 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/21/2013 9:44:37 AM
    I've been there and done most of that! I think you can gain control. At least I have to believe you can get it back!
    1824 days ago
    every step back is a chance to learn, every step fwd is a chance to re-learn!!! it is not easy, even when it seems easy for a week, or a month, or a year, it is just as easy to slide will have to be vigilant always, which is where i (we?) mess up! just move fwd, forget the mistakes and forge on. if you dwell on the mistakes you stay there, if you accept and move on, you will soar. trying to learn this lesson myself. back down to 27 tonite, no wind, but i am NOT walking b/c it is freakin cold. i also dont feel like gyming, so my goal is to do some pilates and not settle into sloth once i get home!! we can do this, again, i remind you i am here for you and i know you are here for me, if we are feeling low energy or unaccountable we should hit each other up and and be a support system. i know reaching our goals will make us feel so much better in general! i hope tim finds this new job a good fit!! xoxoxoxo!
    1824 days ago
    Keep on keepin' on Darlin'

    Minor set back. I can gain 6 pounds just thinking of Mexican food. But a quinceanera is, well, a flipping Quinceanera!!! I am glad you enjoyed yourself. You can loose the six in no time. Just stay on track and you will be back in no time. One must live her life.

    Viva Steph! Never give up! Never Surrender!

    I am glad that your hubs got a J. O. B. What will he be doing?

    Stay strong in love! emoticon
    1824 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/20/2013 8:17:26 PM
    Keep calm and carry on!!
    1824 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by SOULFISH80