Wednesday, February 20, 2013
I have been under a lot of stress the amount of weight I wanted to lose for my son's confirmation has been stalled due to all the stress and pain I'm under and that's not fair to him or me (because I want to be in a picture with him so badly).
I think the best thing I can do at this point is back away from what is going on with my dad including not going to that meeting tomorrow. I have no plans on seeing him today I plan on spending today with my husband and son, maybe we'll go see a movie since it only costs 5 bucks each with hubby's military discount, I feel like I've forgotten how to laugh and be happy.
Last night after writing my blog I felt like never waking up again, I've lost the fun in my life every day brings a new drama and my nerves just aren't equipped for this amount of stress and pain in my life and so I need to stop having thoughts like that and focus on the people who have always had my back (my husband and son).
I don't feel all that great but I'm pushing myself to get out for my own health and the health of my family, we've all been cooped up and just concentrating on my dad and all the negative that's been going on (washer dying, flat tire, the tax drama of yesterday).
We need to go out and be our own little family and start making good memories and living our lives.
Do I love my dad yes of course, but I can't keep fighting with him to take breathing treatments, bi pap treatment and whatever else he doesn't want to do. It's his life and he's chosen to live it the way he wants. I know if it wasn't for me he'd of died years ago and this time around.
He doesn't understand the proxy I do and I don't need to be in a war of stress with my siblings when he can't talk for himself, let my older brother deal with everything and see how much fun it is, it's very stressful and honestly I don't need it.