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    FENWAYGIRL18    
 
 
Today is going to be a MY FAMILY DAY

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

I have been under a lot of stress the amount of weight I wanted to lose for my son's confirmation has been stalled due to all the stress and pain I'm under and that's not fair to him or me (because I want to be in a picture with him so badly).
I think the best thing I can do at this point is back away from what is going on with my dad including not going to that meeting tomorrow. I have no plans on seeing him today I plan on spending today with my husband and son, maybe we'll go see a movie since it only costs 5 bucks each with hubby's military discount, I feel like I've forgotten how to laugh and be happy.
Last night after writing my blog I felt like never waking up again, I've lost the fun in my life every day brings a new drama and my nerves just aren't equipped for this amount of stress and pain in my life and so I need to stop having thoughts like that and focus on the people who have always had my back (my husband and son).
I don't feel all that great but I'm pushing myself to get out for my own health and the health of my family, we've all been cooped up and just concentrating on my dad and all the negative that's been going on (washer dying, flat tire, the tax drama of yesterday).
We need to go out and be our own little family and start making good memories and living our lives.
Do I love my dad yes of course, but I can't keep fighting with him to take breathing treatments, bi pap treatment and whatever else he doesn't want to do. It's his life and he's chosen to live it the way he wants. I know if it wasn't for me he'd of died years ago and this time around.
He doesn't understand the proxy I do and I don't need to be in a war of stress with my siblings when he can't talk for himself, let my older brother deal with everything and see how much fun it is, it's very stressful and honestly I don't need it.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHY4ME 2/20/2013 3:48PM

    The only thing I will say is TAKE THAT PICTURE NO MATTER WHAT SIZE YOU ARE. if something was to happen to you, your son wouldnt see the size he would see his mum, her smile, her pride. TAKE IT!!!!
and as for the other, I haven't commented cos I can feel your pain and not much to sayl You can't fight him and can only explain it as much as you can. So sorry but if he passes, you know you have done all you can and have made as much as possible easier.
HUGS and such hard times, it has to turn around in your guys favor soon!!!

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KHK218 2/20/2013 1:39PM

    (((Hugs))) It is so hard to be in your position, and usually a thankless job. This is the first blog post of yours that I have read so I'm not familiar with the particulars of your story but I am a nurse that has watched many people deal with taking care of their sick parents, and I know how hard it is. Give your son a hug and, yes, take a day off from the stress!! As you say, it is your dad's choice how he lives. Support him in making healthy choices but you don't have to take the full weight of his health on your shoulders. Take care of yourself and have fun with your family! :)

Comment edited on: 2/20/2013 1:39:56 PM

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MARYBETH4884 2/20/2013 1:37PM

    You are making the right decision! Step back and concentrate on your husband and son! Happy and fun memories are very important to create! As far as the confirmation pic take it any way you are! Your son needs the memory of it and he sees you everyday! Anyway if you focus on your immediate family and fun as the weather gets warmer and life gets less stress driven you could very well look like a new you in the picture! Visit Your dad Friday or Saturday after the drama has settled. That way you both can focus on the father/ daughter relationship and not the caregiver/ patient relationship for awhile. You all will remain in my prayers!

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