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Not sure my shoulders can hold much more.....

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

I just don't know what to do anymore....I've been trying to practice some self-discipline and make healthier choices and workout more so I can lose several pounds before my son's 1st birthday. I keep getting these huge speed bumps thrown in my way and it's just wearing me down.
First, we've begun having family drama with my husband and his 2 sisters. His mom has been diagnosed with early stage dementia and is starting to decline. They can't seem to agree and things are not going well. It's very stressful.

Second, I have a full-time job and then I have a part-time job I do at home on the computer. That has been picking up quite a bit (which is good and bad). It's left me very little time to breathe much less exercise. But the money is necessary. Yesterday, though, I got told I might have to start sharing my duties b/c I can't do anything during the day while I'm at my FT job, so now my hours will be cut, hopefully not too much, though. That way, I might have time to breate and exercise, but we won't be making the $.

Third, my husband hasn't been having full weeks lately at work. It's really hurting us.

I'm just exhausted emoticon emoticon.....

I just don't know how to get out of this. I know this stuff with his sisters is going to last quite a while, most likely. It's just so frustrating and depressing. All I want right now is to get myself on a schedule that I'm able to stick to that doesn't kill me at the same time. I'm a very structured person and I crave routine. If I'm trying to do something, ie: make a workout schedule, if I can't stick to it, I get frustrated and start to give up. I haven't had time to figure out what healthy snacks to bring to work. I know that one is probably an excuse, but the structure goes along with this as well in that I want to sit down and plan what I want, where to get it, how to make it/package it, and if I don't get a chance to do that, I just don't do it. The only thing I've really stuck to is no soda. I haven't had a soda since Jan.1....Lately, though, I'm losing so much oomph, I'm ready to just pour a 2 liter down my mouth emoticon

I'm so unhappy with myself and my body right now. I'm not one of those moms who are proud of the changes in their body since having a baby. I think I might be too vain for that....ha....But I really want to have my son's 1st bday party in May and look great or just better than I do now. I think the image I have for myself is unattainable, which is my other problem. I just don't think I'm in a good place right now and it's really upsetting....Honestly, I just want to go back to high school or college where things were so much easier. I just want a do-over to some extent...Oh well....
Thanks for reading emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    What you said here really resonates with me. I feel so stuck lately, like no matter what I do, I'm destined to be big the rest of my life. I was at the doctor today, and of course they weighed me, and my jaw dropped when I saw that I had gained ten pounds since the last time I weighed myself a month or so ago. Weight is so easy to gain, but crazy difficult to lose. I think we need to start small and celebrate any victory, whether it's staying away from soda for a day or eating a healthy breakfast or working out for ten minutes. I tell my students (I teach composition) to take revision one step at a time. It cannot happen all at once, or revision becomes overwhelming. So even if it's just eating right for an entire week (forget exercise for now) or avoiding soda or junk for just a day, we have to take it one step at a time. You can do this. I don't even know you, and I know you can do this.
    1823 days ago
    It sounds like you have a lot on your plate..last week when I was stressing over some things, a friend said what would tell a friend in your situation...you'd say slow down..be kind...take it easy...get a grasp on what is true and what matters... I do not know which baby this is for you...but you are probably dealing with a lot more than just baby body...My children have been great but they are here and my life is never going back to what it was before...I have responsibilities now that are full and feel heavy...find a way to relieve stress and let things go. Be nice to you...you have a lot to deal with and the weight will come off..slowly...May is still four months away. Do things you can live with and love on you...cuddle with that kid and hubby...You can do this. emoticon
    1823 days ago
    Hi. Boy do I understand where you're coming from. I went through a similar patch last year with my husband having work and health drama, we had to close a business drama, we were unemployed and broke drama, issues with the kids, etc. And then I had a thought. I can't control any of the drama, but I can control certain things (I'm a control and order freak). I can control what I eat, how and when I exercise, how much I eat, make lists of things to do around the house and for my then job search....you get the idea. Well, a lot of that has changed since then thankfully, and I'm now employed, my husband has a new job. We got the business drama handled and I'm down 32 lbs. I slipped along the way, but take charge where you can and let the rest settle itself. That's all you can do. And don't give up your victories....like being soda free.
    1823 days ago
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