Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Whoo! I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. The past week, I have been feeling what is called the "Imposter Syndrome". I was blessed to get a job teaching and doing research at a university a year and a half ago. But this week, I had the sneaking suspicion that my being hired was just a "fluke", that I wouldn't make it, that my teaching wasn't effective, that I wouldn't be able to succeed in my research agenda. Insecurity bombarded me this week so much so that I didn't get a good night's sleep last night... I tossed and turned, with different scenarios flashing in my mind about what I could have done or said differently yesterday.
This morning I felt something like paralysis. But no, no, no, I won't succumb to that. I decided to exercise this morning, and this time I planned to put ALL of my frustration into the effort of exercise. I pushed and huffed and did moves I had never done before. And, at the end of it, I exercised for 45 minutes (when last month I could only do 10). Charlene Johnson on the Turbofire DVD said "no joke, you did awesome today", and I felt like she was talking directly to me. Then, I topped off my morning with watching an inspirational video from Sparkpeople of before and after success stories.
If you suffer from the imposter syndrome at times like I do, say this with me: "I am NOT an imposter. I CAN do this. I can lose the weight and so much more. I can succeed in my career. I can reach my goals. I am able to put the work in, and 2013 is MY year".
Waking up on the wrong side of the bed happens sometimes... but it's what you do after you wake up that counts. Let's do this thing!