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    PIXIE-LICIOUS   135,355
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Today is a Fresh Start


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Wednesday, February 20, 2013




Today is day one of my streak.

Yes, I fell off the wagon. My streak ended yesterday due to a binge. And what a HUGE binge it was! I consumed thousands of calories! I used food to numb myself to things that have been stressing me. I ate so much....and it wasn't even that good. I was just stuffing that food in to try to stuff my feelings down.



But guess what? When I went to bed, I had to deal with my feelings. As I laid in bed, feeling bloated and sick, I started to cry. I was full of remorse and regret. WHY did I sabotage myself like that? Why did I eat so much junk?

Thats not what I want for myself! I deserve so much better than to sit there and cram so much unhealthy food down my throat.



So I got out of bed and went into the living room to write in my journal. Writing things down always helps me to figure myself out. As I wrote, I realized that although I am stressed about finances, that was not the main reason behind my binge.

Pressure. Thats why I binged. I am feeling too much pressure about the scale! I had told myself that I would get on the scale on March first. I thought I was ready for that. After all, my last weigh in was back in September. So why not weigh myself?



I know I've been at a plateau for a long time. Even though I haven't been on the scale, I can tell that I haven't lost weight. I can tell by the way I look and by the fit of my clothes. I have made progress in other ways, though. I'm stronger and healthier. I have more energy and endurance. My body is toning up and getting firmer. I feel younger than my age. And those are all WONDERFUL things. I have come so far since I started this journey last March. When I weighed myself last September, I'd lost 71 lbs. Even if I haven't lost another pound since then, I'm still proud of myself for the progress I've made.



But the thought of getting on that scale on March 1st has really, really, really put the pressure on me. So I need to back off. I've decided that I will not weigh myself on March 1st after all. I'm not saying that I will never weigh myself again. I'm just saying that I can't do it right now. I'm at a plateau and I know that if I weighed myself now, I would just disappoint myself and I'd probably disappoint some of my Spark friends too.



Today is a new day. I binged yesterday, but today I am going to get right back on track. I will not worry about the scale. I'm just going to eat right, exercise, and continue to look for Non-Scale Victories. I am going to keep focusing on being as healthy as I possibly can be. And when I do finally get on the scale, it will be when I am ready to do it. I'm not going to set a deadline for myself when it comes to weighing in. That just doesn't work for me.




I am going to continue to love myself, to respect my body and to be my own Valentine!


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHY-GG 2/21/2013 4:56PM

    Sorry you slipped but look how strong you are!!! Getting back up and going again!
I have had a really rough year losing my focus and goals. I wish I had your determination to get back on track as fast as you. Once again you are a great inspiration for me to keep up with my day two back on track and pray I don't give up on myself again. With you in mind I will get back up.
THANK YOU Pixie for being the wonderful you!!

You know if there is anything I can do to help let me know!
Hugs and love, GG.

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NOTSOFLUFFYDAD 2/21/2013 4:14PM

    Sometimes we need to fall off the wagon to remind us of WHY we need to change.

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PAHOLMES39 2/21/2013 3:48PM

    Your blog just made my day!!!! I to have struggled for a long time. For the past few weeks I have commited myself to begin AGAIN. That is what we have to do.

I will be praying for you!
Phyllis

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WIFEALF2 2/21/2013 3:37PM

    love your blogs!sorry you fell of the wagon we all do...you keep at it so that is awesome good for you.keep trying that is all we can do...dont give up......

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LYN-EDWY 2/21/2013 3:36PM

  emoticon There is nothing I can say that hasn't been said by our fellow sparkers!
Remember your own words:

" I'm stronger and healthier. I have more energy and endurance. My body is toning up and getting firmer. I feel younger than my age. And those are all WONDERFUL things. I have come so far since I started this journey last March."

You are on the right path emoticon ...you have the right attitude emoticon ...you are in the right company emoticon ...and we are all proud of you emoticon

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CAROL494 2/21/2013 3:27PM

  emoticon

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ANYVAR54 2/21/2013 3:25PM

    Congratulations on deciding to make a new start. You can do it.

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ALIDOSHA 2/21/2013 3:20PM

    I admire your strong spirit! emoticon emoticon

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NANFACEMIRE1 2/21/2013 3:15PM

    Pixie, you are doing it lady. You binged one day and you are right back on track today. Good for you. emoticon emoticon I am glad that you forgave yourself and realize that is how you will get ahead. You have done so well. DONT even think about when to weigh. One day you will say,,,,,,this is the day to weigh and you will do it. You are right: look for non-scale victories.....you have many. I am proud of you an so are your many spark buddies. Just take one day at a time. emoticon emoticon

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PRAIRIECROCUS 2/21/2013 3:09PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IRONBLOSSOM 2/21/2013 3:03PM

    Thanks for sharing your lesson. It sounds like you've made some amazing progress and even on a plateau you're doing all the right things. Keep on keeping on! :-)

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PROSPERME 2/21/2013 2:58PM

  You go girl !!! emoticon emoticon

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CHESAKAT41 2/21/2013 2:41PM

    We all fall off the wagon so to speak - Being a diabetic my weight stays pretty much the same as the insulin put 20 lbs on and she is staying there. I am now on a veggie kick and eating a few nuts for snacks. It seems to be helping me mentally. Life is good if we let it be - we all have worried, but the question is - how do we handle it. There is always help if we open the right door. Sending you blessings and a bit of sunshine for a glorious day...LI, NY sends you a wave...
emoticon emoticon Rhoda emoticon Max emoticon and Gracie emoticon

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SHELLOU1 2/21/2013 2:38PM

  Sounds as though you have sorted it out and have identified your path forward. That is a GREAT NSV- You can point to a "lesson learned" and leave that "binge" where it needs to be, in the past. Thank you for your willingness to share your challenges with the rest of us.

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JOYFUL452003 2/21/2013 2:18PM

    Thanks for sharing your blog. emoticon emoticon
You have come a long way and will continue on to your goal. Forget the scales, listen to your body and do what you know to do...eat right, exercise, track and share SP.

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Muriel

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SANDICANE 2/21/2013 2:15PM

    Life is a road full of learning. This is today's lession for you, but the universe will have another one for you tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. So long as we're willing to be open to new ideas and new actions, we can all learn and grow.

Cheers to you,
A fellow learner

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HEARTS116 2/21/2013 2:12PM

    emoticon

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JIBBIE49 2/21/2013 1:56PM

    emoticon You're featured in the Spark Mail. What an honor. emoticon

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LITTLE_QUEEN 2/21/2013 1:44PM

    MY SISTER NEEDS TO NOT WORRY ABOUT FINANCES AS SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE ABD WILL GET THROUGH IT AS SHE HAS BEFORE THOUGH HER SISTER REALIZES IT IS VERY STRESSFUL

MY SISTER ALSO NEEDS TO REALIE THAT SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND SO LOVED BY SO MANY ON SPARK, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THE SCALE, GET RID OF IT YOUR PROFILE PIC LOOKS SO NICE AND YOU CAN TELL THAT YOU HAVE REALLY LOST WEIGHT AND TONED DOWN

SO MANY OF US HAVE DEEP ROOTED ISSUES INSIDE US THAT ARE STOPPING US FROM REALIZING OUR DREAMS BUT MY SISTER IS GOING TO REACH HER DREAM

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This rose I give to you, to remind you that you are the only one who can do what you must do to reach your healthy lifestyle that is your goal.
Like this rose which started out as a mishaped stick, and becomes a thing of beauty, You too have it inside you to blossom and reach your goals.
At times the road you face is hard, like a rose bush that faces storms, but you too can stand strong, and when the time is right, You too will let your inner beauty come out into the light.
May this rose remind you that you will succeed.

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NELLBELLA26 2/21/2013 1:17PM

    Keep loving yourself and don't put anymore unfair pressure on yourself. emoticon

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TAYGRL 2/21/2013 1:12PM

    This blog was both heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time. I'm SO terribly PROUD of you for giving yourself the gift of forgiveness.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. We've ALL been there. Maybe we binged on food OR maybe it was some other sort of negative activity. Either way, we got your back.

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TWITMER 2/21/2013 12:57PM

    Thank you for being honest..I'm a "closet" binger and feel so miserable afterwards...I'm on day 5! emoticon

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KALEWINE 2/21/2013 12:42PM

    We all fall down sometimes. What matters is that you get back up and keep moving forward. I'm rooting for you. emoticon emoticon

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CHANGING-TURTLE 2/21/2013 12:37PM

    emoticon emoticon

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CHRISBEM 2/21/2013 12:36PM

    I really like the don't let a bad day turn into a bad week quote!

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JSKIPPY11 2/21/2013 12:35PM

    WOW! You are such an inspiration. I love how you fell off but then picked your self right back up! Once I fall off I tend to stay off for months at a time.. I am so glad that you are my sparkfriend! you are TRULY and INSPIRATION to me! emoticon

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STEVIEBEE569 2/21/2013 12:30PM

    Absolutely! Another great blog! Keep up the good work!

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JMACLIVES 2/21/2013 12:27PM

    What a beautiful attitude! Self-love soudns bad but its incredibly GOOD for us! Thanks for sharing, and do what you need to with the scale. Its a long term thing, not immediate gratification we all want.

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SHIELDAC 2/21/2013 12:19PM

    each day is the first day of the rest of your life emoticon

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SPTERRIV 2/21/2013 12:19PM

    Today will be a better day!! emoticon

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SHERYLDS 2/21/2013 12:06PM

    well said...and we can all relate.
Wishing you much success on your continued journey.
GO FOR IT emoticon

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1STARVINGARTIST 2/21/2013 11:48AM

    I love your blogs, and I love your approach that each day is a new start. You are doing so well with your positive attitude after you 'fall off the wagon'. I struggle with binge/stress eating and then regret/guilt afterward also. I lost 150 pounds a few years back and have since struggled with gaining back and losing again. Your blog is very inspiring. Thanks so much for sharing!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHERYLSBUTT 2/21/2013 11:44AM

    Start again mean you can still win
Go for it and release what you can not control

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CICELY360 2/21/2013 11:41AM

  good blog

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HEDDERBOX 2/21/2013 11:39AM

    Me too! I ate bad yesterday too! Must've been in the air. :P

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MILLIEHUBBARD 2/21/2013 11:33AM

    Pixie, Thank you for your honesty. We all struggle and it is powerful to see you pick yourself up and move on. We all have tough days and beat ourselves up but it is encouraging to know that others do too...and yet they persevere. We can all do this together...focus on this journey of health. emoticon

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DEBLYNN323 2/21/2013 11:29AM

    Great blog! And congrats on getting right back on track!

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WEGENERCS 2/21/2013 11:29AM

    I can really relate, so thank you for your ability to share your thoughts. It is really helpful to all of us.

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SPINNER520 2/21/2013 11:28AM

    With an attitude like that you can't fail!!

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SLIMLEAF 2/21/2013 11:26AM

    Sorry to hear about your upset yesterday Pixie.

However, as you're starting Day 1 of your next streak, this is a great opportunity for me to start on Day 1 of MY streak too. Let's do this together and see how we get on.

With a wise and healthy attitude like yours, you can't help but succeed!
Best wishes
from a fellow struggler. (Lindsay)

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ANNASGOALS 2/21/2013 11:14AM

    Hi Pixie I for one could NEVER be disappointed and I think that is true for other SP people too. We're all here on the same road and understand the challenges, setbacks and victories.

Be Fierce! my friend!!!

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SR82158 2/21/2013 11:14AM

  This was so encouraging to me. Congratulations on not giving up.

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SOCIALBEE 2/21/2013 11:10AM

    Great blog! I have the same issue as you with the scale! It's really impressive that you go months without weighing yourself - I need to follow suit. I usually weigh myself a few times per month and then when I get on the scale and realize that after all of my sacrifice, sweat, work that I've lost nothing I get discouraged and then a binge comes (I wrote a blog about it last week myself) so I've decided to STOP weighing myself so much and maybe only weigh myself monthly or bi-monthly but to measure other successes: am I sleeping better? do I have more energy? Do my clothes fit better? Is my mood better? Am I stronger? and THOSE will truly measure my success NOT that blasted scale.
Last week I weighed myself and was so "mad" at my self conceived "lack of progress" that I binged - I consumed thousands of calories myself, laid on the couch after work feeling sorry for myself and then kicking myself for it. I realized that I have "scale anxiety" and I just need to quit looking at it in order to stay focused on the REAL things - like my overall health!
Your blog was really inspiring and keep up the great work! Wow 71 lbs lost, that's amazing! I truly hope that one day I will get there myself, I just need to stop falling off the wagon! emoticon

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GOING-STRONG 2/21/2013 11:09AM

    emoticon

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JIMDAB 2/21/2013 11:04AM

    thanks for the outlook!

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DAYHIKER 2/21/2013 11:00AM

    I don't think you could disappoint any of us ... unless you gave up ... which you are not about to do! You can do this and start a new streak just as you plan!
emoticon Cindy in Arizona

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GRIZ1GIRL 2/21/2013 10:58AM

    A new day--woo hoo! THANKS!

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MARYM1962 2/21/2013 10:55AM

  we ALL "fall off the wagon" so to speak - it is in our nature to "binge" occasionally. The improtant thing was that you saw it for what it was and are ready to continue on in your journey. You did not fail just because of 1 day, you only fail if you let yourself think that you did and then do not do anything to get back on track. Keep up the good work, and who needs to weigh in?!? It should be all about how you feel and how you regard yourself, not some numbers on a crummy machine

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GSEATON 2/21/2013 10:51AM

    YOU are amazing. You sum up exactly how I feel on my journey. Your blogs inspire me soooo much. Thank you!

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KNYAGENYA 2/21/2013 10:50AM

    I really needed to read that thank you.

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