Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.
PIXIE-LICIOUS
200,000-249,999 SparkPoints 201,213
SparkPoints
 

Today is a Fresh Start

Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Wednesday, February 20, 2013




Today is day one of my streak.

Yes, I fell off the wagon. My streak ended yesterday due to a binge. And what a HUGE binge it was! I consumed thousands of calories! I used food to numb myself to things that have been stressing me. I ate so much....and it wasn't even that good. I was just stuffing that food in to try to stuff my feelings down.



But guess what? When I went to bed, I had to deal with my feelings. As I laid in bed, feeling bloated and sick, I started to cry. I was full of remorse and regret. WHY did I sabotage myself like that? Why did I eat so much junk?

Thats not what I want for myself! I deserve so much better than to sit there and cram so much unhealthy food down my throat.



So I got out of bed and went into the living room to write in my journal. Writing things down always helps me to figure myself out. As I wrote, I realized that although I am stressed about finances, that was not the main reason behind my binge.

Pressure. Thats why I binged. I am feeling too much pressure about the scale! I had told myself that I would get on the scale on March first. I thought I was ready for that. After all, my last weigh in was back in September. So why not weigh myself?



I know I've been at a plateau for a long time. Even though I haven't been on the scale, I can tell that I haven't lost weight. I can tell by the way I look and by the fit of my clothes. I have made progress in other ways, though. I'm stronger and healthier. I have more energy and endurance. My body is toning up and getting firmer. I feel younger than my age. And those are all WONDERFUL things. I have come so far since I started this journey last March. When I weighed myself last September, I'd lost 71 lbs. Even if I haven't lost another pound since then, I'm still proud of myself for the progress I've made.



But the thought of getting on that scale on March 1st has really, really, really put the pressure on me. So I need to back off. I've decided that I will not weigh myself on March 1st after all. I'm not saying that I will never weigh myself again. I'm just saying that I can't do it right now. I'm at a plateau and I know that if I weighed myself now, I would just disappoint myself and I'd probably disappoint some of my Spark friends too.



Today is a new day. I binged yesterday, but today I am going to get right back on track. I will not worry about the scale. I'm just going to eat right, exercise, and continue to look for Non-Scale Victories. I am going to keep focusing on being as healthy as I possibly can be. And when I do finally get on the scale, it will be when I am ready to do it. I'm not going to set a deadline for myself when it comes to weighing in. That just doesn't work for me.




I am going to continue to love myself, to respect my body and to be my own Valentine!


Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • HEALTHY-GG
    Sorry you slipped but look how strong you are!!! Getting back up and going again!
    I have had a really rough year losing my focus and goals. I wish I had your determination to get back on track as fast as you. Once again you are a great inspiration for me to keep up with my day two back on track and pray I don't give up on myself again. With you in mind I will get back up.
    THANK YOU Pixie for being the wonderful you!!

    You know if there is anything I can do to help let me know!
    Hugs and love, GG.
    1311 days ago
  • NOTSOFLUFFYDAD
    Sometimes we need to fall off the wagon to remind us of WHY we need to change.
    1311 days ago
  • PAHOLMES39
    Your blog just made my day!!!! I to have struggled for a long time. For the past few weeks I have commited myself to begin AGAIN. That is what we have to do.

    I will be praying for you!
    Phyllis
    1311 days ago
  • WIFEALF2
    love your blogs!sorry you fell of the wagon we all do...you keep at it so that is awesome good for you.keep trying that is all we can do...dont give up......
    1311 days ago
  • LYN-EDWY
    emoticon There is nothing I can say that hasn't been said by our fellow sparkers!
    Remember your own words:

    " I'm stronger and healthier. I have more energy and endurance. My body is toning up and getting firmer. I feel younger than my age. And those are all WONDERFUL things. I have come so far since I started this journey last March."

    You are on the right path emoticon ...you have the right attitude emoticon ...you are in the right company emoticon ...and we are all proud of you emoticon

    emoticon

    emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • CAROL494
    emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • ANYVAR54
    Congratulations on deciding to make a new start. You can do it.
    1311 days ago
  • ALIDOSHA
    I admire your strong spirit! emoticon emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • NANFACEMIRE1
    Pixie, you are doing it lady. You binged one day and you are right back on track today. Good for you. emoticon emoticon I am glad that you forgave yourself and realize that is how you will get ahead. You have done so well. DONT even think about when to weigh. One day you will say,,,,,,this is the day to weigh and you will do it. You are right: look for non-scale victories.....you have many. I am proud of you an so are your many spark buddies. Just take one day at a time. emoticon emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • PRAIRIECROCUS
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • IRONBLOSSOM
    Thanks for sharing your lesson. It sounds like you've made some amazing progress and even on a plateau you're doing all the right things. Keep on keeping on! :-)
    1311 days ago
  • PROSPERME
    You go girl !!! emoticon emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • CHESAKAT41
    We all fall off the wagon so to speak - Being a diabetic my weight stays pretty much the same as the insulin put 20 lbs on and she is staying there. I am now on a veggie kick and eating a few nuts for snacks. It seems to be helping me mentally. Life is good if we let it be - we all have worried, but the question is - how do we handle it. There is always help if we open the right door. Sending you blessings and a bit of sunshine for a glorious day...LI, NY sends you a wave...
    emoticon emoticon Rhoda emoticon Max emoticon and Gracie emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • SHELLOU1
    Sounds as though you have sorted it out and have identified your path forward. That is a GREAT NSV- You can point to a "lesson learned" and leave that "binge" where it needs to be, in the past. Thank you for your willingness to share your challenges with the rest of us.
    1311 days ago
  • JOYFUL452003
    Thanks for sharing your blog. emoticon emoticon
    You have come a long way and will continue on to your goal. Forget the scales, listen to your body and do what you know to do...eat right, exercise, track and share SP.

    emoticon
    Muriel
    1311 days ago
  • SANDICANE
    Life is a road full of learning. This is today's lession for you, but the universe will have another one for you tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. So long as we're willing to be open to new ideas and new actions, we can all learn and grow.

    Cheers to you,
    A fellow learner
    1311 days ago
  • HEARTS116
    emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • JIBBIE49
    emoticon You're featured in the Spark Mail. What an honor. emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • LITTLE_QUEEN
    MY SISTER NEEDS TO NOT WORRY ABOUT FINANCES AS SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE ABD WILL GET THROUGH IT AS SHE HAS BEFORE THOUGH HER SISTER REALIZES IT IS VERY STRESSFUL

    MY SISTER ALSO NEEDS TO REALIE THAT SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND SO LOVED BY SO MANY ON SPARK, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THE SCALE, GET RID OF IT YOUR PROFILE PIC LOOKS SO NICE AND YOU CAN TELL THAT YOU HAVE REALLY LOST WEIGHT AND TONED DOWN

    SO MANY OF US HAVE DEEP ROOTED ISSUES INSIDE US THAT ARE STOPPING US FROM REALIZING OUR DREAMS BUT MY SISTER IS GOING TO REACH HER DREAM

    emoticon
    This rose I give to you, to remind you that you are the only one who can do what you must do to reach your healthy lifestyle that is your goal.
    Like this rose which started out as a mishaped stick, and becomes a thing of beauty, You too have it inside you to blossom and reach your goals.
    At times the road you face is hard, like a rose bush that faces storms, but you too can stand strong, and when the time is right, You too will let your inner beauty come out into the light.
    May this rose remind you that you will succeed.
    1311 days ago
  • NELLBELLA26
    Keep loving yourself and don't put anymore unfair pressure on yourself. emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • TAYGRL
    This blog was both heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time. I'm SO terribly PROUD of you for giving yourself the gift of forgiveness.

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. We've ALL been there. Maybe we binged on food OR maybe it was some other sort of negative activity. Either way, we got your back.

    emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • TWITMER
    Thank you for being honest..I'm a "closet" binger and feel so miserable afterwards...I'm on day 5! emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • KALEWINE
    We all fall down sometimes. What matters is that you get back up and keep moving forward. I'm rooting for you. emoticon emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • CHANGING-TURTLE
    emoticon emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • CHRISBEM
    I really like the don't let a bad day turn into a bad week quote!
    1311 days ago
  • JSKIPPY11
    WOW! You are such an inspiration. I love how you fell off but then picked your self right back up! Once I fall off I tend to stay off for months at a time.. I am so glad that you are my sparkfriend! you are TRULY and INSPIRATION to me! emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • STEVIEBEE569
    Absolutely! Another great blog! Keep up the good work!
    1311 days ago
  • JMACLIVES
    What a beautiful attitude! Self-love soudns bad but its incredibly GOOD for us! Thanks for sharing, and do what you need to with the scale. Its a long term thing, not immediate gratification we all want.
    1311 days ago
  • SHIELDAC
    each day is the first day of the rest of your life emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • SPTERRIV
    Today will be a better day!! emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • SHERYLDS
    well said...and we can all relate.
    Wishing you much success on your continued journey.
    GO FOR IT emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • 1STARVINGARTIST
    I love your blogs, and I love your approach that each day is a new start. You are doing so well with your positive attitude after you 'fall off the wagon'. I struggle with binge/stress eating and then regret/guilt afterward also. I lost 150 pounds a few years back and have since struggled with gaining back and losing again. Your blog is very inspiring. Thanks so much for sharing!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • CHERYLSBUTT
    Start again mean you can still win
    Go for it and release what you can not control
    1311 days ago
  • CICELY360
    good blog
    1311 days ago
  • HEDDERBOX
    Me too! I ate bad yesterday too! Must've been in the air. :P
    1311 days ago
  • MILLIEHUBBARD
    Pixie, Thank you for your honesty. We all struggle and it is powerful to see you pick yourself up and move on. We all have tough days and beat ourselves up but it is encouraging to know that others do too...and yet they persevere. We can all do this together...focus on this journey of health. emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • DEBLYNN323
    Great blog! And congrats on getting right back on track!
    1311 days ago
  • WEGENERCS
    I can really relate, so thank you for your ability to share your thoughts. It is really helpful to all of us.
    1311 days ago
  • SPINNER520
    With an attitude like that you can't fail!!

    emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • SLIMLEAF
    Sorry to hear about your upset yesterday Pixie.

    However, as you're starting Day 1 of your next streak, this is a great opportunity for me to start on Day 1 of MY streak too. Let's do this together and see how we get on.

    With a wise and healthy attitude like yours, you can't help but succeed!
    Best wishes
    from a fellow struggler. (Lindsay)
    1311 days ago
  • ANNASGOALS
    Hi Pixie I for one could NEVER be disappointed and I think that is true for other SP people too. We're all here on the same road and understand the challenges, setbacks and victories.

    Be Fierce! my friend!!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • SR82158
    This was so encouraging to me. Congratulations on not giving up.
    1311 days ago
  • SOCIALBEE
    Great blog! I have the same issue as you with the scale! It's really impressive that you go months without weighing yourself - I need to follow suit. I usually weigh myself a few times per month and then when I get on the scale and realize that after all of my sacrifice, sweat, work that I've lost nothing I get discouraged and then a binge comes (I wrote a blog about it last week myself) so I've decided to STOP weighing myself so much and maybe only weigh myself monthly or bi-monthly but to measure other successes: am I sleeping better? do I have more energy? Do my clothes fit better? Is my mood better? Am I stronger? and THOSE will truly measure my success NOT that blasted scale.
    Last week I weighed myself and was so "mad" at my self conceived "lack of progress" that I binged - I consumed thousands of calories myself, laid on the couch after work feeling sorry for myself and then kicking myself for it. I realized that I have "scale anxiety" and I just need to quit looking at it in order to stay focused on the REAL things - like my overall health!
    Your blog was really inspiring and keep up the great work! Wow 71 lbs lost, that's amazing! I truly hope that one day I will get there myself, I just need to stop falling off the wagon! emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • GOING-STRONG
    emoticon
    1311 days ago
  • JIMDAB
    thanks for the outlook!
    1311 days ago
  • DAYHIKER
    I don't think you could disappoint any of us ... unless you gave up ... which you are not about to do! You can do this and start a new streak just as you plan!
    emoticon Cindy in Arizona
    1311 days ago
  • GRIZ1GIRL
    A new day--woo hoo! THANKS!
    1311 days ago
  • MARYM1962
    we ALL "fall off the wagon" so to speak - it is in our nature to "binge" occasionally. The improtant thing was that you saw it for what it was and are ready to continue on in your journey. You did not fail just because of 1 day, you only fail if you let yourself think that you did and then do not do anything to get back on track. Keep up the good work, and who needs to weigh in?!? It should be all about how you feel and how you regard yourself, not some numbers on a crummy machine
    1311 days ago
  • GSEATON
    YOU are amazing. You sum up exactly how I feel on my journey. Your blogs inspire me soooo much. Thank you!
    1311 days ago
  • KNYAGENYA
    I really needed to read that thank you.
    1311 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment
    Member Comments Page (312 total):  < Previous 1 2 3 4 5 Next > Last >>


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

More Blogs by PIXIE-LICIOUS