Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Hey hey Sparkworld,
Something strange has been happening over the last couple of weeks and I feel the need to share!
My university gym locker room is an interesting exercise in building and or destroying self-esteem. You see the showers, dressing area, etc are all open, and at any given point in time there are women with beautifully fit bodies walking around leisurely naked, seemingly without a self-conscious care in the world.
I on the other hand, wind my towel tight around my body, shower at the back of the open hall, and dress with my towel around me. In the last couple of weeks, I've found myself not holding my towel so tightly, and dressing more leisurely than I've done in the 1.5 years that I have used these facilities
Do I feel more confident about my body? Not necessarily. The rolls are still there and yes there's a jiggle to my walk (LOL TMI?), but I realized today that I have been treating my body like it is an aberration compared to the women I saw around me. My body is not ugly. I am not ugly, and I'm not going to hide it in shame as if it does not merit the same kind of praise as these fit women's bodies.
My body as currently stands with all its flaws is wonderfully made. I will not cower in shame, but I will take time to nurture my body, knowing that all of my effort will pay off someday.
I will likely not be the woman who model walks naked though the locker, but I will likely be the girl who takes her time to get dressed at the gym and appreciates her body for all the amazing things it allows her to do now.
Whew, building confidence is work!