But, round is a shape, right?
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
This year has not been good to me. I started it sick with the flu, then had a UTI, my hours at work got cut, my expenses went up, my plans to move home were derailed when my daughter and her family moved into the house I had planned on moving into, and then 2 weeks ago I discovered my boyfriend having cyber sex with 2 girls in a chatroom.... add to this my tax return AND last paycheck went to get the clutch in my car replaced, she can't pass emissions because the catalytic converter needs to be changed (and who has any money to do that), and I am probably in danger of having all my utilities cut off next month because the money earmarked for those bills went into the car. I am so tired of this place, this house, this life I have! I want to move closer to my family, back to the purity of the country air and the well water, back to home grown veggies and a slower pace. I want to be able to heat with wood and enjoy the silence of the night. I put my daughter and her fiance on notice - 6 weeks to get a job and find a place to move. I had made arrangements with my aunt to rent that house back at Thanksgiving as soon after the first of this year that I could find a job. Now I am in limbo because I can't even begin to look for work until I know there is a place for me to stay, which there isn't until they move. Neither of them has a job, and they don't seem to be looking very hard. I spent the weekend there, telling them what to do (the place was a mess, and more got done in 1 day with me directing than had been done in a week at least), washing clothes and hanging them out on the line, and trying to relax. It wasn't as relaxing as it had been in past trips. My grandbaby was a complete joy, though. I love him so very much, and I want him to have a better life than I gave his mama. I am not the best housekeeper in the world, so I felt pretty bad telling them what all to do, but it had to be done. Right now I am looking at the pictures that were taken this weekend - the ones that show that I am just as wide from front to back as I am side to side. I'm tired and discouraged. I know I have to eat better and exercise and do better with my life, but right now, I would really like to crawl into an ice cream carton. Good thing I don't have any in the house. :)