Why Iím doing it:
I just found a new Tumblr: whyimdoingit.tumblr.com
Basically tumblr is just a website for blogs that are mostly pictures. Thereís a lot of Doctor Who fans on there, which is how I got sucked in. Thereís also a lot of fitness Tumblrs. Some of them like the one above have fitness motivational pictures, so I like to go check out my Tumblr and Pinterest when I get bored or unmotivated.
Right now I want nothing more that to pick up handweights and do some dang crunches. Since my arm is refusing to heal fast enough, Iím on a complete exercise and diet hiatus. I donít want to be in pain and stretch my skin (since its not closed) hence the not working out (other than walking, and Iíve been trying to walk more) Ė and Iím not dieting, because I want my body to put all of the extra energy and nutrition (read fats/protein/vitamins/minerals Ė not all complete junk) into healing this stupid armpit.
So Iím kinda grossÖ well okay, Iím a scientist, so gross stuff fascinates me. Iíve been taking photos of my wound at least once a day since this whole thing started. Iíve been planning a Reddit WTF post, but now itís a really WTF postÖ (donít ask, Reddit is a weird, weird website) Anyway, today I noticed an odd circle of new skin growth on the edge of my wound Ė I looked at yesterdayís photos and it was like two fingers reaching up from the edge Ė so its really nice to be able to SEE progress, literally as my skin starts closing. That being said, its like a mm in a dayÖ Iíve got about 800 mm to goÖ so if that could speed up, thatíd be great.
The plastic surgeon put me on high dose antibiotics two weeks ago. Iíve finished the course, but I feel like my healing is slowing down. I really donít want to do another round of antibiotics, so hopefully Iím just imagining stuff.
I had to go on Tumblr today to get some inspiration. The scale was up the last time I stepped on it, but it was TOM + I had eaten a LOT of saltÖ like five days worth of salt, dang tortilla chips (I have a salt tooth) Ė and not drank enough water, so hopefully that was a fluke.
Iím making smarter choices in the last few days, but the whole ďnot dietingĒ thing is making me feel like Iím about to fall off a cliff. 190 is my official ďoh-no-you-didnít!Ē point to cut calories like a fiend. Iím close to that. Iíve been bouncing around the mid-180s for the entire year. Up 5, down 5, up 3, down 2, up 4, down 0Ö up 2Ö. Eek~! Itís a slippery slope. Iím trying to be around maintence, which is 2100-2400 calories/day based on my age/weight/activity level and my armband. This was at first AMAZING. What, Iím hungry, I can have a *gasp* bagel? And I had dairy. I had ice cream. I even slipped and had a few cheeseburgers. And I felt bad. Literally felt bad in my guts.
So Iíve cut dairy out again. And Iíve been looking into doing Paleo or Keto once Iím outta danger and can diet/exercise again. Keto kind of scares me. As a biochemist I just canít justify tricking my body like that. If I did it, it would be ďketo-liteĒ as in I would cheat with more carbs from fruits and veggiesÖ which would basically make it Paleo. GahÖ dietsÖ For me I think cutting bread out and pasta, which I really donít eat often, might be a good thing. The no dairy aspect of Paleo is a necessity for me, but dang it, I need a farmerís market open before this will get cheap and easy.
I donít know thoughÖ I may try keto for a bit just to get below 180. Heck just to get back to 180. Iím hoping this diet/exercise hiatus will kick my body back into weight loss mode. I somehow got my body to lose 90#... but this last 10# has been a battle. And if I want to lose the 20# Iím aiming to loseÖ. It might just be a battle!
Part of my problem now is that Iíve lost my muscles. Those perdy little rocks under my layer of fat that made me feel good are gone. I can feel my right arm muscles have almost atrophied. Iím trying not to use that arm much. Add in the fluid buildup in that arm and the nerve damage, and I just hope it gets better once the wound closes. When Iím doing experiments in the tissue culture hood, I can barely keep my arm up for more than 10 minutes pipetting before it starts to hurt my shoulder (and yes, I suck at left handed pipetting).
Dear Abs, I miss youÖ. that is all.
Its hard to explain to someone how badly you want to work out. Now I imagine the Sparkers on here who have gone through an injury know EXACTLY what I mean to feel grumpy about not getting to work out.
I get a little bitter when I watch the Biggest Loser and I canít work out. I usually workout WHILE watching, I should say. I do consistent things the whole time I watch DVR TV, and no matter what, if I am watching BL, I used to ALWAYS work out. To add insult to my injury, the girls on the show have started to reach the point where they weigh less than me. Now I know this is all TVÖ I know those girls are probably WAY shorter than meÖ but it still gets annoying to want to be those girls with a certain number on the scaleÖ and that is NOT how I need to be thinking.
So from now on Iím in planning mode. My arm is healing! This is a good thing!
Iím focusing on what Iím eating. Iím trying to be conscious of what is going into my body.
Iím going to phase out carbs slowly. No white flour or bread if I can help itÖ and I will cheatÖ I will slip, I will just choose to limit this.
More fruit! More veggies! (and if you buy them, actually eat them, instead of let them go bad, and then throw them away, and then buy them again!)
So thatís it. Iím going to go home and cook myself some chicken and veggie cheese (never tried it beforeóIíll see if I like it) and broccoli for dinner.
I will get back to working out soon. I will strength train the crap out of my body. I will become strong againÖ and I WILL get to my goal weight in 2013.
[Oh yea, and write my dissertation, two research articles, sell my house, graduate with my PhD, get a job, and moveÖ. In 87 days~!!!!!!!]