Why I’m doing it:

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Why I’m doing it:

I just found a new Tumblr:

Basically tumblr is just a website for blogs that are mostly pictures. There’s a lot of Doctor Who fans on there, which is how I got sucked in. There’s also a lot of fitness Tumblrs. Some of them like the one above have fitness motivational pictures, so I like to go check out my Tumblr and Pinterest when I get bored or unmotivated.

Right now I want nothing more that to pick up handweights and do some dang crunches. Since my arm is refusing to heal fast enough, I’m on a complete exercise and diet hiatus. I don’t want to be in pain and stretch my skin (since its not closed) hence the not working out (other than walking, and I’ve been trying to walk more) – and I’m not dieting, because I want my body to put all of the extra energy and nutrition (read fats/protein/vitamins/minerals – not all complete junk) into healing this stupid armpit.

So I’m kinda gross… well okay, I’m a scientist, so gross stuff fascinates me. I’ve been taking photos of my wound at least once a day since this whole thing started. I’ve been planning a Reddit WTF post, but now it’s a really WTF post… (don’t ask, Reddit is a weird, weird website) Anyway, today I noticed an odd circle of new skin growth on the edge of my wound – I looked at yesterday’s photos and it was like two fingers reaching up from the edge – so its really nice to be able to SEE progress, literally as my skin starts closing. That being said, its like a mm in a day… I’ve got about 800 mm to go… so if that could speed up, that’d be great.

The plastic surgeon put me on high dose antibiotics two weeks ago. I’ve finished the course, but I feel like my healing is slowing down. I really don’t want to do another round of antibiotics, so hopefully I’m just imagining stuff.

I had to go on Tumblr today to get some inspiration. The scale was up the last time I stepped on it, but it was TOM + I had eaten a LOT of salt… like five days worth of salt, dang tortilla chips (I have a salt tooth) – and not drank enough water, so hopefully that was a fluke.

I’m making smarter choices in the last few days, but the whole “not dieting” thing is making me feel like I’m about to fall off a cliff. 190 is my official “oh-no-you-didn’t!” point to cut calories like a fiend. I’m close to that. I’ve been bouncing around the mid-180s for the entire year. Up 5, down 5, up 3, down 2, up 4, down 0… up 2…. Eek~! It’s a slippery slope. I’m trying to be around maintence, which is 2100-2400 calories/day based on my age/weight/activity level and my armband. This was at first AMAZING. What, I’m hungry, I can have a *gasp* bagel? And I had dairy. I had ice cream. I even slipped and had a few cheeseburgers. And I felt bad. Literally felt bad in my guts.

So I’ve cut dairy out again. And I’ve been looking into doing Paleo or Keto once I’m outta danger and can diet/exercise again. Keto kind of scares me. As a biochemist I just can’t justify tricking my body like that. If I did it, it would be “keto-lite” as in I would cheat with more carbs from fruits and veggies… which would basically make it Paleo. Gah… diets… For me I think cutting bread out and pasta, which I really don’t eat often, might be a good thing. The no dairy aspect of Paleo is a necessity for me, but dang it, I need a farmer’s market open before this will get cheap and easy.

I don’t know though… I may try keto for a bit just to get below 180. Heck just to get back to 180. I’m hoping this diet/exercise hiatus will kick my body back into weight loss mode. I somehow got my body to lose 90#... but this last 10# has been a battle. And if I want to lose the 20# I’m aiming to lose…. It might just be a battle!

Part of my problem now is that I’ve lost my muscles. Those perdy little rocks under my layer of fat that made me feel good are gone. I can feel my right arm muscles have almost atrophied. I’m trying not to use that arm much. Add in the fluid buildup in that arm and the nerve damage, and I just hope it gets better once the wound closes. When I’m doing experiments in the tissue culture hood, I can barely keep my arm up for more than 10 minutes pipetting before it starts to hurt my shoulder (and yes, I suck at left handed pipetting).

Dear Abs, I miss you…. that is all.

Its hard to explain to someone how badly you want to work out. Now I imagine the Sparkers on here who have gone through an injury know EXACTLY what I mean to feel grumpy about not getting to work out.

I get a little bitter when I watch the Biggest Loser and I can’t work out. I usually workout WHILE watching, I should say. I do consistent things the whole time I watch DVR TV, and no matter what, if I am watching BL, I used to ALWAYS work out. To add insult to my injury, the girls on the show have started to reach the point where they weigh less than me. Now I know this is all TV… I know those girls are probably WAY shorter than me… but it still gets annoying to want to be those girls with a certain number on the scale… and that is NOT how I need to be thinking.

So from now on I’m in planning mode. My arm is healing! This is a good thing!

I’m focusing on what I’m eating. I’m trying to be conscious of what is going into my body.

I’m going to phase out carbs slowly. No white flour or bread if I can help it… and I will cheat… I will slip, I will just choose to limit this.

More fruit! More veggies! (and if you buy them, actually eat them, instead of let them go bad, and then throw them away, and then buy them again!)

So that’s it. I’m going to go home and cook myself some chicken and veggie cheese (never tried it before—I’ll see if I like it) and broccoli for dinner.

I will get back to working out soon. I will strength train the crap out of my body. I will become strong again… and I WILL get to my goal weight in 2013.

[Oh yea, and write my dissertation, two research articles, sell my house, graduate with my PhD, get a job, and move…. In 87 days~!!!!!!!]
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I have a salt-tooth also, and tortilla chips are a total trigger food for me! I so feel you on that one. Amazng what a little extra salt can do on the scale - so frustrating to see it, but then a couple of days later you get to see it drop again :)

    On the dairy and paleo - I have seen people say dairy is okay and others say it isn't. I guess I can see both sides - at least drinking milk seems okay, but not dairy foods?....

    Glad you are seeing some progress with the healing - maybe when it's all done you can do a you tube ontage of the pictures day by day to show the process :)
    1853 days ago
    I understand how you're feeling you have a lot more on you're plate then the average person , but you've come this far and are so close I know you know and everyone who has been on you're page know you can get down to the 180's and even pass . So glad you're arm is doing better . I hate antibiotics I have asthma and usually when it flares its a steroid shot and a around of antibiotics . One day at a time sister
    1853 days ago
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    1853 days ago
    Could you try something that doesn't jar your arm around, like a recumbent bike or one of those pedal exerciser you could get off of Amazon?

    You could up your heart rate and cardio without putting stress on your arm. There are some studies/articles out there that suggest it may even help with wound healing:


    As for the ST, maybe you could get a resistance band and do some of the seated chair workouts on SP. I did one a few weeks ago and it didn't put a lot of stress on other parts of my body when I worked out my abs and legs. You could probably also work on one arm as well.

    None of these suggestions may be an option if you are really in pain. But it sounds like you are going through a lot of stress right now and feeling a bit down. I know that doing SOMETHING, even if it's not the exercise I had planned, makes me feel a lot better and it's doing a lot for my stress level too.

    Nutrition is a big part of that too. I think even if you are not "dieting", by adopting a healthy way to eat, you'll probably feel a lot better as a result.

    I'm glad to hear your arm is finally starting to heal. The picture idea is a great way to look at progress and document the healing process.
    1853 days ago
  • NIMIRRA137
    I love tumblr! I have a tumblr blog. It's a mix of fitness inspiration pictures and then dorky Firefly, Joss Whedon, 90s tv shows. Shiny134 is my tumblr.

    That's great your arm is FINALLY starting to heal!

    You said "More fruit! More veggies! (and if you buy them, actually eat them, instead of let them go bad, and then throw them away, and then buy them again!)" I do this all the time! I need to stick to it too.

    I know you cannot do arm workouts and ab workouts may be difficult too but in addition to your walking can you add squats and lunges? That may make you feel less bitter about not working out. I haven't been able to do cardio in months but I am trying to still do a little exercise like those.
    1853 days ago
    I checked out tumblr link... I seriously almost started crying when I got #53 "To hear the words 'Did you loose weight?'" - it happened to me today at work. I heard those words and I didn't know what to say to that because I still don't know how to deal when somebody asks me something about my weight.
    Anyway, sounds like you're healing up ok finally, and I bet you'll be able to start with light workout soon. And you'll be able to do all of those things that you listed. I'm sure you will! emoticon Just one step at a time. Don't let it overwhelm you.
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    1853 days ago
    Haha I'm one of those weirdos who like WTF reddit and pop it reddit lmao! I got issues I know! :P I hate when I buy veggies, they go and, then I go buy the SAME veggies haha glad to know im not the only one -_- haha funny ecard! I feel the same way!
    1853 days ago
    In no particular order, 32, 52, 80, 89, 49, 37,35, 29,22 but mostly 8. You have the best links. Thanks for sharing. emoticon
    1853 days ago
    Great blog!! I love the picture too!!
    1854 days ago
  • NEEDBU66
    "I will cheat. I will slip. I will choose to limit this."

    Excellant. It's something I need to do too
    1854 days ago
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