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    LANCE992   42,272
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Guess were moving to Indiana...

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

It has been a very tense and bad holiday weekend.

My aunt came up from Louisville, Ky on Sunday and drove us out to my brother and sister in law's home in Indiana so we could take a look at new a home that they were talking about us moving into out there.

My brother did this without our knowledge or approval and then had the audacity to post about this on face book of all places and broadcast it to the world.

Then we go out there and see the house which is very nice and just big enough for us and is also just five minutes down the road from them.

But, while we were out there...he gets as my stepfather used to say half s*itfaced and goes to drinking and he and my mother have a HUGE fight over this subject and he does this in front of his daughters and also my aunt.

So now while I know we will be moving...I question whether or not we really should?.

I mean to say, is this how it will be from now on?.

Also no one seems to consider that I also have a lot of logistics problems to deal with in relation to relocating for my job as well as for the stuff I do regarding transportation to and from work that goes through the state of Ohio.

That is also why I am so hesitant on moving.

Mason, Ohio is the only home I have ever known and I have lived here for 26 years.

Now he wants to uproot me and mom from my friends, job, girlfriend and also everything familiar to me just because he thinks that mom may die from cancer next week.

Should I honestly make my feelings known?. I mean he and I have never been close at all and now he and I may never speak again because of this.

I am not one to forgive and forget so easily. I have seen what alcohol does to a person from personal firsthand experience.

He will NOT listen to me. I know this. What should I do?. Should I talk to his wife?. Also mom is making this decision without my input at all.

In this regard as with everything that has to do with a "family" decision I, lance...am to be seen but not heard at all.

It has been like this since I was born. You see, I was born 5 and a half months premature and was in and out of the hospital for the first 18 months of my life and I only weighed 2 pounds at birth and was also diagnosed as having fluid on the brain.

So what I believe with all my heart and always have is that my family accept for my mother and sister in law and her girls is that when it comes to me and my problems...the less that is known about lance or the less we see or hear about lance...the better off we all are, as ignorance really is bliss.

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HUNGRYWOMAN2 2/20/2013 9:00AM

    I am sorry you are having such difficulties. We all must make our choices, so anything I say is from my own experience. There are similarities, and strife in the family is especially difficult. My first thought is-you need to speak up and take care of your own need to at the very least make your position clear. Set your boundaries and stick with them. This may mean a separation-or partial separation from your family. This was something necessary for me to do in order to preserve my mental and physical health.
I certainly don't envy you. However, perhaps this is your opportunity to take the steps you need . We were never promised it would be easy. However, sometimes the more difficult way is the best way. Family, doesn't mean just blood relations. We can create supportive families for ourselves in many ways.
I wish you the best as you struggle with a difficult situation. emoticon

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LAWANDMUSIC 2/19/2013 6:59PM

    Oh, Lance. I am so sorry that this is happening. I ditto the wise comments of Mastercare. I hope you can arrange to stay in Mason, Ohio. Stability is important, and it looks like that is the place for you. Be strong!

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MASTERCARE 2/19/2013 5:12PM

    Lance......

have you thought about REALLY talking to just your mother? It has been the two of you for quite sometime now. I am sure she will consider your imput. I feel bad.

Have you also considered going off on your own? I know you cannot entirely..but there must be some kind of social services to help you learn how to be on your own ...or even a group home. You get quite a bit on your social security....I am sure you could afford so.

I think your brother is an idiot. He has anger issues...and....reality is setting in and he doesn't know how to handle it...or want too.

I also know that once...when the time comes...you are to live with him..and..that doesn't sound so ....nice.....or doable.....

maybe it is time for you to......start thinking and planning for yourself........and if it is too much....get some assistance...from someone you trust...your minister..who is your girl friend's father....someone like that.

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