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My husband wants to know............

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

This journey on Sparkpeople has been mine.

I'm the one that wanted to lose weight, and I'm the one that felt the need for change. But my friends out there who are part of a couple know that we never embark on these things alone.

Sometimes, our partner will fight us. I have often read posts that show this to be true. To be fair, I know it can seem as though we are very suddenly trying to change everything especially when it comes to the dinner table. What I have read is those frustrated posts...."My husband or my kids refuse to eat the meals I prepare!!! I just can't be making two or three meals to meet my needs and their tastes! What can I do?"

Well, I haven't had too much trouble with this since I usually try to keep our meals within the taste spectrum of our favorites. I have made some things that he was totally not thrilled with and there have been some things that he surprised me.

My approach throughout my journey was to let him know what I was doing and always make it an open invitation to join me but I have never said he needed to do this with me. Luckily, he wanted to walk with me....one of our favorite daily together moments. Of course I also run (when I can) and I have my other exercise options. No, I don't think he'll ever run with me....But....he has walked in some of the events in which I have run, and he has volunteered at some of those races. Of course he has also cheered me on and my secret joy is when I have heard him telling a friend or family member that I have run a race and perhaps taken a trophy! It's nice to have the support even if he doesn't have the desire to run with me.

Of course, he lost weight. Those walks have been good for both of us. At our house, breakfast is usually a "fix your own" routine. My husband has never tried my protein oatmeal and I don't believe he ever will. He has had some of my protein pancakes however. I was making them, asked if he would like some and I didn't elaborate as to how they were made. He ate his with syrup and since I hate the stuff anyway, I ate mine with mixed berries or some of my "rainbow" fruit mix. Even our lunch, which is our largest meal of the day and always prepared my me, will have an element of mine being slightly different than his. I love my vegetables. He's ok with most but not all and given a choice he will always say green beans. Well I love beans too but I also love brussels sprouts (he won't touch them), broccoli ( he eats this but not as large a serving), cauliflower, etc. I love nearly all vegetables and I eat them...if he wants some, that's good if he'd rather have beans, that's ok too. We both love salads but again, my tastes tend to be a bit more varied, so we each make our own.

Now the point of this ramble is that over time my husband has also made some changes in his diet and exercise. I really wanted him to make these changes but I knew it was first and foremost my journey and trying to push him would only frustrate both of us. I became the pebble in the pond and he readily became the ripples.

Lately, I have been trying to drink even more water than I had been. My husband is one of those people who doesn't drink much water. In fact, he usually doesn't take pills with water! I hate that but what can I say? Plenty but it doesn't change things! LOL

I get up and have a 12oz. mug of hat water with lemon or lime. That's a great start to my day. I still drink a LOT of coffee. I also drink tea during the day. (coffee is morning only) I have been filling a pitcher and draining that throughout the day. I have been doing this for at least a month and we have had the conversation about how much water I "should" drink for health and why I am doing this. Our conversation has also touched on how drinking more water would benefit him but I never pushed this. A few days ago, when we were shopping, he told me he was going to go into a different store to get himself a pitcher. emoticon
Now, we have two pitchers at the ready and though he has told me he doesn't do this as well as I, he's making progress so it's all good.

Ripples in the pond.

Now his question the other day was this..........." Do the comments you make on Sparkpeople help do you think?" "When you talk to all your sparkfriends, do you think it helps them?"
LOL

I am sure that behind these questions is the unspoken...."you spend an awful lot of time sparkin dear!!!" LOL

My answer to him was that I am absolutely positive that the comments help....I know this because the same thing helps me. I know that I am urged to do more both by my friends comments and also by their example.

And........Of Course..........there's his ripple to my pebble in the pond!

Yeah, it helps! emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MONIQUE432 2/25/2013 8:47AM

    thanks for sharing. I appreciate your willingness to continue to persevere even though sometimes our loved ones may not be on board with us. It does sound like you husband is getting ready to make some changes though!
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GRAMMAKARMIN 2/22/2013 3:02PM

    You keep us all inspired and motivated Donna! Everyone needs a cheerleader and you are the head of the squad! emoticon

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NIKKIV2 2/21/2013 12:19AM

    Donna you can definitely tell him that you are kind of the rock of our little group. I know I really missed reading your blogs while my technology was gone. I really think we all help each other through the thick and thin! It definitely helps to have the added comments from our sparkies to keep us going on our journey, whether it be weight loss or maintaining.

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RUNNING-LIFE 2/20/2013 8:32PM

    Any help in any form (comments, likes, goodies etc) help on SP. But other forms outside of SP are helpful as well. Be it to us or others.

Although your hubby may not be ready to embark on this journey- he may never- at least the option is there. And who knows? Maybe he'll change his mind, if he starts noticing all the little changes add up to something bigger.

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CASSIOEPIA 2/20/2013 8:20PM

    I had a post featured a few years ago, about how helping others actually was helping me. It reinforces what I am learning on here, and sometimes I need to hear myself telling someone else something so I can see it for myself.

It's pretty cool actually. Great blog.
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JANET552 2/20/2013 7:15AM

    I sure wouldn't be eating a rainbow if it weren't for you. So, the comments do make a difference. John has made some changes too mostly because he is accommodating me or eating what I prepare. Spark is sort of like a quiet revolution.

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CATANTIGO 2/20/2013 5:51AM

    Your blogs have kept me on the right path many times. Don't stop! I feel blessed to have met both you and Steve, and can't wait for another walk/run.

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BOBBYD31 2/19/2013 11:00PM

    very cool! i agree any bit of inspiration that we can pass or receive is great and that is why i am still here doing this, i love the support and love getting the support. thanks for a well written blog

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WASCALLYWONE 2/19/2013 8:00PM

    OH YEAH, BABY! We ABSTOTUTELY read, digest, respond, use, and beg for more of your comments, advice, tips, support etc., Donna! Tell Steve that just as you are part of his family, you are part of our family. I feel more secure knowing you are out there reading my posts and I know we do help you out from time to time, too!

emoticon emoticon SparkPeople wouldn't be the same without yoU!

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KARRENLYNN 2/19/2013 7:08PM

    I think you have a good approach and your husband seems to be supportive of your efforts even if he doesn't embrace everything. I've also tried substituting some ingredients as a low key way to make a dish healthier. Since no two people like all the same things, there will always be at least some "double dishing" As long as your husband supports your healthier efforts, you're doing good.

Have a great week,

Karen emoticon

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GINIEMIE 2/19/2013 6:30PM

    You tell your dear husband that we do need your comments. We do read them and reflect on them, some of us are slowly changing-just like he is.
Erik is my son, but is getting the benefit of my experiments. He is now drinking a lot more water than when he first came home October 28, 2010 and a lot less soda and sweet tea than he did throughout 2011 and the beginning of 2012. He won't walk with me, but I'll get him to walk through stores and even though I sometimes I am concerned because he walked off, I know I'll find that 6'2" son of mine eventually. (Besides he's told me to have him called to the front if I'm ready to leave-another growth)
Thanks for letting us be ripples in your pond.
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AKATHLEEN54 2/19/2013 6:13PM

    I am trying to be the ripple in the pond without my family really knowing. So far using Spark recipes mostly i have been able to produce some pretty good meals which everyone seems to approve of and after they have taste tested and approved then come the question.... is this a Spark recipe? My answer yes and then.... Wow! that was good! Great Blog!! Congrats on inspiring your husband to also want to do something good for himself. I also usually get the question... are you Sparkin when I'm on my computer. I'm still fairly new to this but I have found I am relying pretty heavily on advice and encouragement from my fellow Sparklers. I'm sure I couldn't do it without all of you. emoticon

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BLUEANGELLK 2/19/2013 6:05PM

    I like that thought "ripples in a pond" it is a perfect analogy!

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MNTWINSGAL 2/19/2013 4:25PM

    Are you sure you didn't write this about MY husband? Lol....maybe they are brothers from a different mother.

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SLIMMERJESSE 2/19/2013 4:04PM

    Yes, tell DH your comments are very helpful and that you have been one of my longest spfriends and an inspiration. (smiling) Big
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