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2012 Darwin Awards

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I know a few people who could some of these. As the late John Wayne once said – Life is tough .. even tougher when your stupid.

You can't fix stupid

Get them while they're hot!!!
They live among us, breed and vote
2012 Darwin Awards

Nominee No. 1: [ San Jose Mercury News]:
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girl friend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

Nominee No. 2: [ Kalamazoo Gazette]:
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck. " Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."

Nominee No. 3: [ Hickory Daily Record]:
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in
December in Newton NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing
telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed
instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged
when he drew it to his ear.

Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto ]:
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows
in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane
with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police
spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the
Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association. A person has to wonder what the dimmer members of this law firm are like.

Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]:
Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]:
A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in
Dunkirk IN. A Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check
the barrel of a muzzleloader, was killed Monday night when the
weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said.
Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home
at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning
a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly.
He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the
gunpowder ignited.

Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga , Ontario ]:
A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium
apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his
death. "Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when
the accident occurred," said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.

Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [ Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the
road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway
38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder
reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.

The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the
older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse
was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets
from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the
steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the
headlights again began to operate properly, and the two
men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge .

After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before
crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated,
discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended.

Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released.
"Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead," stated Wallis

"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this
is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how
this accident happened," said Snyder.

Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole 's wife) asked
how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them
from the truck? Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result
of their misadventure (as normally required by Darwin Award
Official Rules) it can be argued that Poole did in fact effectively
remove himself from the gene pool.
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