Three Things: 2/19/13: The Grand Illusion

Tuesday, February 19, 2013


"It's so amazing that the 3 things are starting to add up so much."
A SparkFriend recently said that. Yeah... it really is starting to add up.

As always, this makes me think of weight loss -- why can't I apply the same principle -- a tiny behavior, one almost unnoticeable -- and after a month or so, see how much I've lost almost without thinking about it? It’s an interesting paradox: I had trouble sticking to the search for what works for me in weight loss but not the quest for the perfect shade of lipstick, eye shadow?
Well, now I AM thinking about it. If I'm writing about it, I'm thinking about it. Granted, some days a little more artfully than others, but there you have it. I’m not ignoring the problem. And I'm not even doing it every day: just MOST of them.

And speaking of little things that add up, I joined BOSS61's Grapefruit League (check out his page for details), and what he proposes is... tiny behaviors, almost unnoticeable -- and after only a WEEK, I lost EIGHT pounds. Granted, a good deal of that is water. I'm still pretty happy: two weeks ago I couldn't seem to stop gaining. Which is usually what happens when you don't stop eating.

I've tried to organize my house for years. Y-E-A-R-S-! There were times when my kids wouldn't bring their friends through the kitchen for fear of what lurked in the sink. I have played "What's That Smell?" more times than I care to remember. My best friend would come over and do my laundry. I've tried to lose weight for years too. And now, it seems, progress is being made: my son paid a visit home recently and he remarked that the house was clean and neat - so much neater than when he lived here - from his own lips, I swear. And I just told you I'm back to losing weight and getting in exercise daily.

Even if it takes years, go for it. Even if you, like me, are on the edge, staring into the abyss of wondering if you are too old, tired, sick or not worth it, there is a solution out there if we keep looking. Besides, if our health gets bad enough – like mine – I had to find the means to crawl out of that pit.

And the look on my son’s face was totally worth it.

1. Jergens Natural Glow Daily Moisturizing Firming Cream. “Gradually creates natural-looking color.” No it doesn’t. “Clinically proven to reduce the appearance of cellulite in as little as 7 days.” Maybe if you consider how distracting its weird smell and the increasingly orangey shade your skin is. Besides, we already covered that I don’t take time to moisturize so you know I don’t take time to exfoliate – two things that seem pretty essential to a successful self-tanning outcome. The only reason I bought the stuff in the first place is because I am white. I hardly ever get sun and when I do, I’m covered. SPF 50 is a START. We’re talking real real white, once dubbed, “the whitest white person they ever knew,” by an acquaintance, and no, they didn’t mean it in any other way than pale. We were sitting in the sun. They demanded I take off my sweater (yes, sweater). I did. Damn near blinded everyone.

Jergens Natural Glow. It turns me orange. It smells funny. It’s over 2 years old.
(Psst: I do love the original Jergens lotion and it’s classic cherry-almond scent.)

Besides, you know what you DON’T get when you stay out of the sun all the time? No, not a vitamin D deficiency – your skin really does stay healthy looking. I get that comment all the time and I save a fortune on anti-aging creams.

Result? Thrown away. Along with the notion I’m going to EVER going to be a golden girl. You see any deeply tanned vampires in Twilight? No, the tanned ones are the werewolves, and they carry a much greater risk of getting ticks. If you are a long-term reader of my blog, you know how I feel about ticks (See: “I walked 12.4 miles for a burger, part 2.”).

2. Um, an art piece. It’s my daughter’s work from her freshman year in college. I felt compelled to display it along with other things she’s done, but – sorry honey - this one is not so successful. That sounds horrible, but if she, herself, thinks a piece is good she keeps it [for her portfolio], though she did give me a cool piece that people comment on all the time. It’s understandable she treats my home like a shelter for unwanted creations (she grew up here, after all), but resources have become strained.

Result? Given back to my daughter. Along with a bag of groceries, flowers and a very rushed, “Mommy has so little room to display your treasures properly, gotta go, on my way to the gym!”

3. Graphic Novel. The Watchmen. This book came to my house via my daughter’s high school boyfriend. He loved it. He wanted to share his enthusiasm with his girlfriend, who showed ZERO interest, so he offered it to her little brother, who also ignored it. I know it’s a Hugo-Award-winning book. It says right on the cover that Time considers it a 100-best novels choice. What’s not to love?

The boyfriend, apparently. It was a rough break-up for both sides. Girl doesn’t want anything associated with boy (prom gown not included). I asked Boy if he wanted the book back. Nope.
I haven’t read it in the 5 years it’s been here. I already have a stack of books waiting, and that’s not counting the ones on my e-reader.

Result? Donated. I love The Big Bang Theory, and I’m more of a Leonard than a Penny, but I’m passing this one on to someone who will love it as much as its original owner once did.

Keeper of the Day:

I wish I had a better picture of this. It’s the piece I referred to in number 2, above. My daughter made it. Basically, it’s a metal bra, and it’s a wearable garment. Like chain mail. Where the breasts are, she has stylized fingers reaching out from the body. I love that. I’ve seen plenty of pictures where hands are cupping the breast, or coyly covering other parts of the body – I like the humor of boobs that are gonna grab, not be grabbed.

"Growing up is losing some illusions, in order to acquire others." ~ Virginia Woolf
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Had to check in and make sure you weren't pitching a Styx album here, or worse, the fantastic war movie by Jean Renoir.

    The fact that that art piece is wearable begs the question: have you worn it? emoticon

    Congrats on having made a noticeable difference.
    1855 days ago
    hmm I have to agree with you about the art piece although I love the idea of grabbing-breasts...but about The Watchmen, you aren't missing anything. I have read it. Sure, its an interesting take on superheros, and the movie was really spot-on, but its depressing and gloomy, involves a lot of violence and a rape, its about the glumest book I've ever read...

    I'm so happy for you that your son actually noticed and commenting on your progress--that ROCKS! And I think you are right about the connection between clutter and weight. Right now I'm reading this book called The Courage to be Rich and she makes a lot of correlations about the connections--between clutter and weight and between clutter and lack of riches.
    1858 days ago
    From one fellow WHITE PERSON to another (seriously, I'm a redhead of the traditional kind.)

    1859 days ago
    I absolutely LOVE the bra! I knew what it was immediately. Your daughter is very talented. I am still trying to decipher the other piece. Although it is interesting looking.
    You are doing a superb job of sorting, and it goes so much deeper than grabbing and pitching into that black bag in the middle of the room.
    Thanks for sharing it with us.

    1859 days ago
    You have a way with words. thanks for the enjoyable story. that reminds me i have to swamp out my youngest sons room. He moved out to go to college. Pray for me that I come back out. I might even find things to "donate to a good Cause"
    1859 days ago
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    1859 days ago
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