Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Well, it is always said that a picture is like a thousand words and so is my spark page and personal pictures. Recently I changed some of my photos around to refresh my page and couldn't really be honest about myself in my "before" picture. I have faced it today and have corrected the caption under it. This picture is of me actually weighing in at 380 lbs. I've always accepted the 365+ lbs because the scales would go no further. I've been unable, even up until today, to accept the fact that I had let myself go that far. I feel that I could never have been that out of control with myself. I know that other sparkers have started out at larger weights and I don't know why I couldn't be honest about mine, but I guess I just felt that I "was never" at that point in my life. Why I thought and felt that, I do not know. I will probably never know nor understand my denial.
I have said and shared all of this with you, my spark friends and family, because I'm "coming clean" with myself and with you. Please forgive me if I have led any of you astray. It was not my intention to do so. This is another step in the right direction and lifestyle change that I must do. I have to always see and visualize the "old me" in order to accomplish the "new me". I have adjusted all of my numbers now accordingly and will never deny who I was and where I've come from again. I am who I was and I am who I'm now.
Have a blessed day and wonderful journey to the new you........and me.
"(C)", 2013, Paula Boyd-Friend, all rights reserved