Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Ok. I have been seeing this guy since October of 2012. He is an AMAZING guy. Little niave about romance and dating, but not crippled in those areas either. So I really like him. That is not the problem.
The minor(in my head it seems MAJOR) issue is that he told me last night that his Mom keeps "bugging" him about meeting me. Well, that isnt the issue either. The real issue is all on me.
I have been married once. When I met the parents of the ex I was quite possibly 80-100lbs thinner. So after I was introduced to them and after I had left, they cornered my ex and told him they thought I was sweet, but they wanted to know if he was really ok with being with a BIG GIRL. The ex told me later that same night what they has said. And even after we got married, they would say that any illness I had was because I was overweight. Like my asthma, and then if I caught a cold, it was because I was fat, even though at that time I was working in a low income medical clinic that saw copious amounts of super sick people all day long.
The issue is all mine.
I am totally all giddy that he talks about me to his family. I think it is sweet. I am also digging the fact that he is actually considering introducing me to his family.....only one other girlfriend has been introduced. So I am thinking that it only happens to special people in his life.
The hang up is completely on me.
I am so worried that his parents are going to be even more judgemental and potentially cruel than my exes parents, considering I am larger too. Part of me also worries that because family is so important to him, that if they dont like me, then things will have to end. I know that even thinking these things are so wrong and judgemental on my part that I am almost as bad as the exes parents. I also know that he doesnt focus on my weight. He likes me for me.
I am totally psyching myself out, and more than likely everything will be great. I am a ridiculously funny person, and parents think I am the cutest.
I am going to bet on those fun things instead of stressing the negative.
Thanks for reading the venting