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    SOULSEARCHTYME   3,370
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Holy Cow


Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I fell on my face a few weeks ago. I displaced my front tooth - which meant only soft food for a couple of weeks.

It completely derailed my progress. I even stopped walking every day - which I have to do because I have a beautiful purple heeler puppy who needs her exercise! My diet got even worse than normal.

I have issues with some 'healthy' foods yes - I cannot eat most legumes. I don't know why it just causes a gagging reaction. You think a lentil burger is the best thing ever invented? I don't. I have the same problem with brown rice. I don't know why. I wish I did. Then I could work on getting over it and could say "Sure" when my vegetarian brother is cooking something for dinner.

But, it has stunned me how much falling on my face has set me back. It wasn't something I set out to do. It just stunned me that it happened after so many false starts with getting my health into gear.

It's funny. I woke up today and I had the drive back that I've been missing. It's hot here at the moment (although not like yesterday when it was almost 40 (110f) thank goodness.) I was sitting playing with my phone when I finally did wake up. Every night I promise Flame 630 we will get up and go for a walk. It's happened once in the 3 days. The other 2 days I found it impossible to fall asleep. It's so frustrating.

I had an apnea test a couple of months ago and apparently I only stop breathing when I'm laying on my back dreaming. I'm fine at all other times. (Probably explains how whacky my dreams are.) So, I don't have apnea.

I *do* have PCOS along with the insulin resistance. I must find my meds and get back on them again. That helps me to feel less tired all the time.

I'm heading off to Japan and China in just a few weeks. My friend wants to go to Disneyland. I would like to be able to fit in the rides. So, I need to actually start getting serious. I know it's about the rest of my life but I'm wondering if I can just trick myself into 'it's just until the trip.'

I am really looking forward to the trip. It will be good to get away with my friends and make a lot of memories. I want to be able to put together a photo essay showing how much she got up and actually lived her life. Which I hope will be a bit longer yet. (She has secondary cancer in her liver and lungs. But chemo has stopped the growth we're just hoping for shrinkage now.)

So, I am back and I am going to take this bull by the horns and I look forward to being half the woman I am. I just wish I had a walking partner who lived nearby again. (I miss my old neighbour. We were great together.)

I must ring the woman who runs the Red Cross walking group I want to take my dog to.
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