geesh, i am SO upset with myself! i have been having a great week, of eating right (within my ranges) and i have been working out really well. what did i do today??? within 30 minutes i totally screwed up my calorie intake and the other ranges! and what is even more puzzling, is that i have been freaking out about only weighing myself once a week, and that weigh in, is gonna be on Wednesday! what was i thinkin'????
why would i do that to myself? i worked really hard today (biggest loser cardio, and denise austin's yoga burn). i had made good food choices all day, but dog gone it, i totally went to the extreme and ate a whole box of milk duds! they are my downfall, my vice, my nemesis
no, one "slip up" does not make me gain weight, but i was doing SO well, i was on a streak, i was havin' positive thoughts, positive visualization, i just bought a few more yoga videos, and i was coming along so well with exercising.
then i do this? i know, i know, i shouldn't focus one one thing, but gosh darn, it makes me just so frustrated with myself. "i" make the choices, nobody else. i was only gonna eat half a box (which would have kept me in my range), but i didn't separate it out, and well, there you go.
and now thinking about the choice i made is FAR worse than how good it tasted (for literally only minutes) what is that saying? "fit feels so much better than ANY food tastes" well, duh, now i sit here obsessing about it, wondering how much i should work out tomorrow to help. did i mention that i am a recovering bulimic? i say recovering, because it is like any other addictive behavior, you think about it, even if you aren't doing it. fortunately, i don't want to throw up, but i am sitting here thinking maybe i should do another workout yet tonight (at almost 10pm). or how i need to go nuts and workout like crazy tomorrow.
a friend just posted a quote, "you need to remind yourself that you don't need to be perfect." goodness! that is so hard! i don't hold others up to perfection, but heck yeah, i expect it of me. and having such an attitude, is gonna give me the same outcome i have had every time i have tried to lose weight... FAILURE.
goodness, i have to get my thinkin' back to, one step at a time.
another quote a friend posted was, "entire water of the sea can not sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. similarly, negativity of the world can not put you down unless you allow it to get inside you."
i need to remember this... take responsibility for the choice i made, then move on. am i gonna make one slip up make me quit? that would be stupid. there will be days i will eat over my ranges, this won't be the last. and there are gonna be days that i won't work out, when i know i should, it is called being HUMAN. last time i checked, i didn't have any superpowers, although, that would be cool...
movin' on, to bed, i guess, listening to my relaxation music, visualizing what i am gonna look like in just about 8 months, i can't let this stop me, i will be more disgusted with myself if i quit... i am gonna stick with it...