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    CLOVER2   113,083
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I'm Scared

Monday, February 18, 2013

I got some sad news on Friday. I went in for my therapy appointment and she let me know that she had gotten another job working in the school administration. So this last Friday was my last appointment with her. This was not good news. She and I go back for quite a few years and I don't think I would be where I am if I hadn't had her. She tells me I'm strong, and that I can do this. She tells me that she uses me as an example to others who are struggling. She calls me her poster child. I know I've come a long way, but I am still frightened. Who will I talk to when things are bad? Who will be there for me to lean on? I don't want to start over. I don't want to have to tell my sad story all over again to a stranger. I know that I am stronger, there have been so many good changes in the last year and a half. I have learned so much, from her, from absolutely incredible people here. My fear is I'm just one slipped step from being there again. She kept me accountable.
I'm scared.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VTRICIA 2/21/2013 12:40PM

    (((Clover))). Maybe keeping a journal? Though I know it can be a separate issue to have stuff written down.

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HDHAWK 2/20/2013 10:27PM

    Can you ask her to recommend someone to you that would have a style similar to hers? It sounds like you've made great progress. Stay strong! emoticon

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CANNIE50 2/20/2013 10:25PM

    Oh, honey, you have learned so much and become so much stronger. I don't know about you, but I got tired of my sad story and tell it very seldom these days. It is what I went through but not who I currently am. Bits and pieces of it come up, now and then, but I don't go back to it much. Right here, right now, I am capable of dealing with whatever comes up, and so are you. Do I want to deal with it? Not necessarily. Do I always deal with stuff quickly and in a healthy fashion? Absolutely not. But, I know that when push comes to shove, I will get through whatever I need to get through. I hope you listen more intently to what the therapist (who knows you well) says, and not so intently to your fears. Take care emoticon

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SILVERANGEL6 2/19/2013 9:54PM

    I'm with Penelope, it's all about the way you look at things, your attitude.......do you meditate? if you don't, then maybe you should learn......and you really must be more positive, don't let that 'negative talk' yourself into being more negative.....it's a little scary, but the more scary you perceive it as being, then the Universe will give you more of the same, and you have to look back & see that you surely must have learned something during all that time with a therapist.....don't you agree? Have you been keeping a journal? this is an excellent way of seeing how far you have come, by reading back through your journal, you can see how you thought then was not how you are thinking now....if you keep on calling your story sad, then it will always be sad, you should re-name it in your mind....give it an amusing name, (only you know what you have been through) . Learn to meditate, keep a journal of your thoughts .....and start using positive statements to yourself. I'll tell you another little thing that may help. Keep a gratitude journal....when you wake up in the morning, before you open your eyes, tell your guardian Angel what you are grateful for, find at least 7, 10 if you can......I start with, I am grateful that I am still alive.....thanks for the birds, trees, etc etc...Whatever happened to you yesterday that made you feel happy...Dwell on as many positive things you can, push out the negative, do it often & slowly your brain will learn that only good happy thoughts are allowed....so, self love, too....is essential....Google some positive affirmations....if you need some, I can let you have heaps....Or more info if you like....just want to help....
Choose to be happy when you get up, tell yourself that daily, 'I choose to be happy today'
Good luck, dear one....you are blessed and always loved by the Angels...

Love & Light

Sylvia x

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RABBLERRABBIT 2/19/2013 4:22PM

    You'll never know until you're there - you may be stronger or not. You may get a new therapist and love them more - or not. And you'll keep seeking out the solutions you need, as you always have. Look back on all that you've already accomplished!

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PHATPAT18 2/19/2013 9:19AM

    Hopefully she can refer you to someone new that suits your needs. emoticon

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LADYABIGAIL627 2/18/2013 9:48PM

    I'm wondering if you can reframe this at all to see it as a positive. When my therapist and I stopped I was terrified at first. It turned out, at least for me, that with all of the work we did I became perfectly able to navigate life's stresses on my own and trust myself to do so. I had learned a lot of tools that I pull out of my arsenal whenever needed. I still need to talk to people through some situations, I just don't pay them to listen to me emoticon
We're all different and I get that. I just thought maybe if you could try and see it different it might help. Maybe? I understand not wanting to explain your story again. I wouldn't want to go through all that with anyone else either.
Take care,
Penelope

Comment edited on: 2/18/2013 9:49:39 PM

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TLG71567 2/18/2013 9:38PM

    I second everything that everyone else on here has said. You did all the hard work. You had the strength to get to where you are now and you will continue on your journey. You can do it.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 2/18/2013 8:58PM

    I'm sure that she will work to see that you have someone good who will step into her shoes. Give them a chance. You have come a long way. The success you have achieved comes from within. She just gave you the tools to use it.

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KDAILEY70 2/18/2013 8:44PM

    I have the same fear that that will happen to me. I know how sad and scared I would be. As my therapist says, "One slip doesn't bring you all the way back to the beginning,". She is so right. If you have grown as you have stated then you'll be able to stand up tall and strong. You can do it.

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DEEDAWN2013 2/18/2013 8:42PM

    I'm really sorry to hear about your therapist. I truly understand...I remember when my first therapist (years ago) told me he was leaving the area. I freaked. I saw another therapist for a while, but then realized that maybe I didn't need the therapy as much as I thought I did. I have since started seeing another therapist (more recently for two years) and we are now to the "cutting back" point. I'll be honest...it scares me!

I think the important thing is just learning to put into practice all the things she has taught you. You can do it!

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PAMLICO-DAZE 2/18/2013 8:42PM

    Take what you have learned and reflect on how much you have grown and developed over the last year and a half. You are stronger that you were and you can do this.
You are worth it! You are strong and you deserve to be happy. Hang in there!

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LITTLELENNA 2/18/2013 8:41PM

    Don't be scared. emoticon you always have the people on here to help you. It sounds like you have come a long way. Be proud of yourself. emoticon

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