Jealousy and Love
Monday, February 18, 2013
My computer went on the blink for several days so I haven't been on. It has been an interesting week to say the least.
I have a friend whose daughter has gone through our program and that I have known since she was 8 or 9 years old. She is a precious young lady who loves her mom deeply. Mom has been praying for her for 15 years or more to be free from the things that separate them. My mentor also told us a story about how her daughter had gone astray and God gave her the scripture about how you shall know the truth and it will set you free. She prayed it and within a couple of days her daughter was free from the things that drew her away from God. Now the first friend has been praying for a long time and is finally seeing God move in a powerful way. I am happy for both of them. I also found myself getting jealous. I heard myself thinking things like why haven't I seen the things I have prayed for? Why am I being forced to wait? Many other ugly thoughts flooded my mind. I did not recognize it as jealousy at first. As soon as I did, though, I repented and it left me. Now almost a week later, I was sitting in church yesterday morning and God opened my eyes a little further. He said to me that jealousy says that I deserve it more than they do and that I am better than them in some way. True love rejoices with our brothers and sisters and takes heart knowing that God is not a respecter of persons and will come through for us as well in due season. Due season is an appointed time of harvest as explained in our sermon yesterday. I didn't even see that the whole message targeted my heart until halfway through. Why am I so slow to "get it'? He talked about not despising small beginnings. I have had many things that God has done for me over the last ten years concerning my daughter. Am I ready to have it all done with? You bet, in fact this was part of my frustration and jealousy. But I know my God is faithful and can be trusted. He is never late and His arm is not too short to reach down and pick her up. Dare I pray for patience? I will deal with my own blackened heart and will choose today to celebrate with both my friends at their good fortune. My God is faithful and I will rejoice in all He is doing no matter how small it seems to me. David, a man after God's heart, said " may the voice of thanksgiving never be silent before your throne, oh God." I should have listened.