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    SALLYLEE84   18,632
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Hmm...


Monday, February 18, 2013

I know not a great title, but it's all I had. So I'm starting again, I had lost about 20 lbs, and I gained it all back. At this blog posting I weigh 234 lbs, back when I started again in 2012 I weighed 234 lbs and that is my highest weight ever and I can't believe I got back to that point.

I've been depressed, whch isn't something new, I've suffered from depression since puberty. However, even w/ medication I've been going through a rough patch. I'm so tired of being unhappy and I've finally admitted to myself that I hate myself and that is something I've never said out loud before and it's not a healthy attitude. I so need to change, to get healthy for me so that I feel better about myself.

So I'm vowing to do my best, try my best every day to make the best decisions I can in regards to diet and exercise and focus on getting me to a better place. A healthier place both mentally and physically. I have to do this, because I'm afraid that otherwise life isn't going to be worth living. I have to do this, failure is not an option.
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XANGELSTEARZX 2/18/2013 2:11PM

    One thing that might help on your journey is to try and love yourself now just as you are. If you hate yourself now and don't want to weigh what you weigh you might put so much stock into it that it can be self-sabotaging.

Best of luck. I'm in the process of learning how to like myself and it's not an easy task.

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