Hitting The Wall

Monday, February 18, 2013

Just, man! The past three days have been awful, especially in the food department!

I know I said I was ready to get back on track after a less than stellar weekend of eating healthy, but that pretty much did not happen. When I got back to work on Saturday it was Drama City like I've never seen before. Apparently one of my co-workers has decided to do a third of her work and sit and talk to a new guy she's sweet on, and everyone just decided they weren't going to work triple-duty to cover what she leaves by the wayside, so we got way behind, which got the next two shifts even more behind and suddenly there was urgent stuff falling by the wayside. On top of that people started having a go at each other, pointing fingers and being accusatory, etc. I basically came back with every supervisor up to the CEO coming down to chew everyone's rear end about being behind. And even though I was gone for those days, I couldn't help but feel guilty on top of of the stress of being dropped into the middle of it.

So long long story short - I ate terribly. To sustain myself halfway through these long stressful, break-free work days I had to rely on the vending machine, and the most healthy options were fruit snacks and baked potato chips. On top of that, stress makes me want to go straight home and comfort myself with pajamas, Netflix, and snack foods - and that's exactly what I did. Combine that with hasty lunch decisions like going for the Meatball sandwich at Subway instead of the Veggie Delite and that spells disaster. I didn't bother to track Friday and Saturday's food, but yesterday I was 32 calories over my maintenance of 1986 calories. AWFUL. I'm securely in the low 190s now. I just know it.

I just wish I knew where all my resolve and willpower went! It's like all of a sudden it's evaporated and I have the hardest time doing well. Used to I made my greatest strides at work, because I couldn't idly snack at my computer station and stuck to the healthy lunch I brought from home. But suddenly now I can't seem to resist the lure of the vending machine halfway through the shift and can't shake the desire to have something when I get home from work at night. Bleg. And of course it doesn't help that I STILL don't have an exercise routine firmly in place to fall back on when my food goes badly. I know. AWFUL.

I hate to say it, but I feel like I've lost my spark. If only I knew how to get reinvigorated and recommitted. :
Well at least there's some kind of good news in all of this. Until Friday I only have seven dollars to my name so I'm literally incapable of straying from the food choices I have at home, which is a hefty amount of lean meat, frozen vegetables, and fresh spinach. No idea what I'm going to do with the ground beef, though, haha.

Honestly what I need to do is take some time and work out my lifestyle again. Even though I've been successful about being food conscious and watching my calories, there are still plenty of changes I need to make in my life so I can be successful. There's the whole commitment to fitness of course, but I need to make a commitment to the kitchen - I need to cook more instead of relying on tossing together cold salads and ready-to-drink protein shakes. These days the fanciest I get when I make my own food is a grill some meat on the George Foreman and steam up some vegetables, and I'm not exaggerating on that. I need to broaden my culinary horizons, I suppose. Haha I need to do more than work and watch Netflix when I'm not working.

Lots to think about.

Hopefully I can stay on track today. Before I go to work I'm going to empty my wallet of any hidden change so I'm not tempted to solicit the vending machines again, and I'm going to have a protein shake for breakfast and for lunch to keep the calories on the lower side today. Here's hoping I'm successful!

I hope everyone is having a good start to the week!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I love beef! I don't limit it, but I try to do what I can to make it healthy. Sometimes not so healthy, but small& filling portions. lol I have the boxed dinner down to an art!

    Cooking solo, you can make a box of hamburger helper last 3+ meals! It's awesome! Take that ground beef and make the stroganoff, then pair it with veggies and it's good to nuke.

    Now, I don't suggest that lightly, because I know it's got noodles and preservatives and processed wheat and all sorts of crap, but sometimes I just want something like that! And it's easy.. you can make it in about 20 min or so, and then eat some for dinner, portion out the rest into containers, etc. When money is tight and you are having trouble finding the time/motivation to cook, sometimes batch cooking is an awesome solution, because you can do it on you day off and have healthy options through the rest of the week! But yeah, I totally don't have to preach to you about batch meals. I know you've rocked them in the past.

    I don't know what it takes to find that motivation again, but I feel you T..T

    I feel like I hit a wall at the 50 lb mark, and I've been struggling ever since. I kept saying "I'm not losing anything, I'm not losing anything." But I'm slowly getting close to that -70 mark, so 20 lbs went away somehow!

    I know you see it in the motivational blogs everywhere, but it really is so much better to preservere than quit. I know you are struggling right now and not nessesarily thinking about quitting, but continue to hang in there! Fight for every bite if you have to. It's not fun, but it's better to hang in there and struggle than to go away for a few months and wonder where you'd be if you hadn't stopped.

    That being said.. I think I've noticed a LOT of spark freinds slowing down at that -50lb mark. It's like some invisible puddle of goo that slows you down or something! I don't know if it's something you've noticed or not, but the freinds I've made when I got started are all slowly posting less and less. I think I need to spend a little time reading more blogs and making more freinds. Maybe if I can surround myself with a few more active people, that fresh meat will help motivate me! :X
    1858 days ago
    No, you are not alone. Try not to beat yourself up too much. I like to think that just writing a blog about perceived failures is the 1st step to getting back on track.

    1858 days ago
  • KA_JUN
    Good luck! Don't beat yourself up over 32 cals (for perspective, 1 cup of cooked leeks is 32 cals), stress at work can really affect how we feel and our mental outlook, I hope things even out for you on that end. Keep pursuing your goals! emoticon
    1858 days ago
    Good morning Jordan, First let me say "I don't like to read long blogs" but I read ALL of yours. LOL. You are not alone in the situation you are going through. We all have had those days where one of our "trigers" sets us into an eating binge. The good news is that you recognize it is happening. And isn't it funny how a binge makes us feel like we have gained it all back. I believe it's all a mind game. What goes on in our mind it how it will go.
    Your blog doesn't really ask for suggestions and I head this week that if someone is not asking for my advice, I should keep it to myself. LOL I do have some ideas though so if you want to know them, you'll have to ask me. LOL

    emoticon emoticon
    1858 days ago
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