Monday, February 18, 2013
Just, man! The past three days have been awful, especially in the food department!
I know I said I was ready to get back on track after a less than stellar weekend of eating healthy, but that pretty much did not happen. When I got back to work on Saturday it was Drama City like I've never seen before. Apparently one of my co-workers has decided to do a third of her work and sit and talk to a new guy she's sweet on, and everyone just decided they weren't going to work triple-duty to cover what she leaves by the wayside, so we got way behind, which got the next two shifts even more behind and suddenly there was urgent stuff falling by the wayside. On top of that people started having a go at each other, pointing fingers and being accusatory, etc. I basically came back with every supervisor up to the CEO coming down to chew everyone's rear end about being behind. And even though I was gone for those days, I couldn't help but feel guilty on top of of the stress of being dropped into the middle of it.
So long long story short - I ate terribly. To sustain myself halfway through these long stressful, break-free work days I had to rely on the vending machine, and the most healthy options were fruit snacks and baked potato chips. On top of that, stress makes me want to go straight home and comfort myself with pajamas, Netflix, and snack foods - and that's exactly what I did. Combine that with hasty lunch decisions like going for the Meatball sandwich at Subway instead of the Veggie Delite and that spells disaster. I didn't bother to track Friday and Saturday's food, but yesterday I was 32 calories over my maintenance of 1986 calories. AWFUL. I'm securely in the low 190s now. I just know it.
I just wish I knew where all my resolve and willpower went! It's like all of a sudden it's evaporated and I have the hardest time doing well. Used to I made my greatest strides at work, because I couldn't idly snack at my computer station and stuck to the healthy lunch I brought from home. But suddenly now I can't seem to resist the lure of the vending machine halfway through the shift and can't shake the desire to have something when I get home from work at night. Bleg. And of course it doesn't help that I STILL don't have an exercise routine firmly in place to fall back on when my food goes badly. I know. AWFUL.
I hate to say it, but I feel like I've lost my spark. If only I knew how to get reinvigorated and recommitted. :
Well at least there's some kind of good news in all of this. Until Friday I only have seven dollars to my name so I'm literally incapable of straying from the food choices I have at home, which is a hefty amount of lean meat, frozen vegetables, and fresh spinach. No idea what I'm going to do with the ground beef, though, haha.
Honestly what I need to do is take some time and work out my lifestyle again. Even though I've been successful about being food conscious and watching my calories, there are still plenty of changes I need to make in my life so I can be successful. There's the whole commitment to fitness of course, but I need to make a commitment to the kitchen - I need to cook more instead of relying on tossing together cold salads and ready-to-drink protein shakes. These days the fanciest I get when I make my own food is a grill some meat on the George Foreman and steam up some vegetables, and I'm not exaggerating on that. I need to broaden my culinary horizons, I suppose. Haha I need to do more than work and watch Netflix when I'm not working.
Lots to think about.
Hopefully I can stay on track today. Before I go to work I'm going to empty my wallet of any hidden change so I'm not tempted to solicit the vending machines again, and I'm going to have a protein shake for breakfast and for lunch to keep the calories on the lower side today. Here's hoping I'm successful!
I hope everyone is having a good start to the week!