Sunday, February 17, 2013
Friday I got the stomach bug, it started to hit me as I finished my lifting at the gym-so glad I got it in before hand! So my eating was all over the map eating mostly soup and not really tracking anything makes me unsure of how the weigh in will go tomorrow...but, whatever happens I know I'm succeeding. I decided to get out all the umpire pants and try them on...I couldn't wear three of the four pair I have most of last year. I'm so happy that all but a pair of size 8's (which i havent worn in 3 years) fit...I was not sure I had made that much progress, so it was a spirit lifter.
While I was recovering on Saturday, I spent a lot of time surfing the Internet. I looked up the past contestants from the Biggest Loser to see where they are now. Surprisingly, the majority have all gained weight back. Some have kept most of their weight off, but only a few are within 20 pounds of where they were at the final. That made me realize, once again, just how hard maintaining is, after the loss. In my heart I know this, but in my head, I still won't give myself a break on being in that same boat. I still fight that inner self-loathing that got me back here. I see people post quotes stating "we are not the number on the scale" or our weight doesn't dictate our self-esteem", etc. of course any sensible person knows this to be a healthy view....but apparently it's just not what my head believes...I know that I'm on top of the world, when I'm at my healthy weight, I've been there, it's true...but every pound I gain, moves me farther away from that feeling...I don't know if I'll ever get past that....but I can get back to that weight...and I will...that is in my control!
So, some ups and some downs, but my alarm is set and I'm ready to start the second part of my 8 week workout tomorrow morning...